Create a work-life balance

We all go through times where we feel overwhelmed and stressed out. We have a lot going on. We run our household, family schedule, budgeting, work, etc. Here are a few tips that can help us feel more balanced and less stressed in our daily lives

1.  Career vs Job do what you love. Imagine you have a job that you work 40-50 hours at the office, then at least 45-60 minute commute each way and then you get home and still check e-mails and texts from your boss. This is the norm for most of us. This is a lot of time spent at work which is great, if you love what you do. If not, this would make your work week almost impossible to get thru. if you’re a parent then you have two full-time jobs. The happiest/balanced people have a career. They enjoy going to work because it’s a career not just a job.

The first step in finding a “Career” is to find out your top strengths/skills and passions. There are a few different personality tests that you can take that can help you figure this out if you don’t know yet. Also, think back to your childhood. What did you love to do ages 5-10 years old? Your passions started then. Did you set up a classroom, make the dresses for your dolls, imagine yourself in a police or firman outfit? What would you do if money wasn’t an option? What causes flow? ( flow is when time stands still because you are so into what you’re doing). What activities cause flow?

2. Personal/professional growth-to remain balanced/happy we need a mix of both professional and personal development.  The happiest people are always growing and learning in both areas of their lives. If we stop growing both professionally and personally we become stale and stagnate which can lead to depression

3. Are your basic needs met? You won’t have balance in your life if your not taking care of yourself. This involves taking care of your basic such as: getting enough sleep ( at least 8 hours), eating healthy,drinking plenty of water ( at least 8 glasses a day) and exercise.  This also includes self-care doing things for yourself, making yourself a priority. Make sure to schedule in”ME”time. If you don’t take care of yourself first, how will you take care of others. Also, taking care of yourself is showing yourself respect. By respecting yourself, your a great role model for your kids.

4. Visualize what your balanced life would look like. Clients come to me and say I feel so unbalanced. I ask them, what would a balanced life look like? They don’t know. They get so wrapped up in the feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed out that they can’t even imagine balance. Try to visualize/focus on the life you want. What would it look like? What in your life right now causes you to feel good? what in your life is toxic? Can you remove the toxic people/situations? Do you need more vacation time? family time? date night? You can’t be balanced until you know what changes you need to make.

5. Control- most of us spend a lot of time and energy on what we can’t control. We can’t control others. We can only control ourselves. Write a list of everything you can’t control. Then look at the list and realize if you can’t control it, your wasting your time and setting yourself up for failure. Take that list and everything on it, rip it up, throw it away and stop wasting time and energy on it. Make a list of everything you CAN control. Ask yourself what can I do about these things now? Then get moving on it.

6. A lot of times we feel unbalanced but really it’s not about balance, it’s about happiness. Take some time and be honest, are you happy?  What are you feeling? A lot of my clients will pre-occupy themselves with “Stuff” so they are busy and overwhelmed but it’s with filler stuff. You might do this as a way to be in avoidance of the deeper issues, it might be fear or just a habit. You need to figure out and become self-aware of how you are really feeling.

7. Realistic-  Most people will have days when they feel stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, etc. It’s normal. Some stress is good stress it motivates us to be our best. Ask yourself do I always feel stressed? is it chronic? does it affect my functioning in everyday life? If it is chronic and affects you daily then it might be time to get professional help like counseling, support groups, etc. If not and you have stressful days or moments then it’s time to realize that all feelings are temporary. Odds are you will feel better and find a solution in a few hours or days.

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About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang is a Therapist, educator, author and life coach. Diane has two books: Baby steps the path from motherhood to Career and Creating balance & finding happiness. Diane works as a Therapist and also is an adjunct at Montclair State University. This blog will help educate and empower you to live your best life! For more information please visit her website: www.dlcounseling.com
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