I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend!!
I have been getting a lot of questions and I want to take some time to answer them. This week are two questions that go hand in hand: Feeling overwhelmed by life’s demands and taking time for ourselves. Please feel free to email me your questions/comments: Lifeline36@aol.comQ & A Wednesday
I feel so pulled by filling the needs of my children, spouse or parents- Is feeling guilty natural? And how do I control it?
Its sometimes called “Mommy Guilt” we are taught at a young age to be nurtures which is a good thing but there has to be a limit. We can take of others but we also need to learn to say NO! If not we put ourselves in a situation of feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and even angry. That can become a vicious cycle which can make us emotionally and physically sick.
To control it, we need to ask for help, learn to say NO and set up realistic expectations. There is no easy way to learn to say NO, its just a lot practice and realizing the bigger goal. When we say NO, we are taking care of ourselves. When we say no, we are practicing self-care. Make sure to pencil yourself in on the calendar for some time for yourself. Also, take mini-breaks throughout the day. Just taking five minutes to go outside in nature or to take a few deep breaths and relax can help us to refuel and refresh which makes us more productive. If we continue to try and do everything perfectly or to be in control of everything we are setting ourselves up for failure..
How do I respond when others say that I am being selfish when I do some things for myself?Tell them the truth. You can’t take care of others, if you don’t take care of yourself first. We need to be healthy in order to be there for others. If our basic needs aren’t met we can become mentally, emotionally and physically fatigued. Taking care of ourselves is not a selfish act, it’s an important act that I recommend to all my friends, family and clients. When we make ourselves a priority we show others the respect we have for ourselves which makes us a great role model for our kids. Kids need to see how important it is to respect yourself and your body.Its back to school time BUT that also means it’s Back to you time!! Come join me this fall for some great workshops. If your interested in a workshop that isn’t in a convenient location or doesn’t fit your schedule, please email me and we can set up a one-one time that the workshop can be done on-line in the convenience of your own home.Workshops:Friday, September 20, 1pm – Grief – Free workshopOakville Senior center, CTPlease register at 860-945-5250Monday, September 23, 7pm – Positive ParentWestfield adult school, NJ908-232-4050Wednesday, September 25, 7pm – Re-entering the workforceUnion County College, NJ908-709-7606Thursday, September 26, 6:30pm- Declutter life and reduce stressSussex Community College, NJ973-300-2140