Q&A Wednesday

I hope  everyone had a great holiday  weekend!!

  

I have   been getting a lot of questions and I want to take some time to answer them.   This week are two questions that go hand in hand: Feeling overwhelmed by   life’s demands and taking time for ourselves. Please feel free to email me   your questions/comments: Lifeline36@aol.com 
 
Q & A Wednesday

  

Dear Diane 

  

I feel so pulled by filling the needs of my children, spouse   or parents- Is feeling guilty natural? And how do I control   it?

  

Its sometimes called “Mommy Guilt” we are taught at a young   age to be nurtures which is a good thing but there has to be a limit. We can   take of others but we also need to learn to say NO! If not we put ourselves in   a situation of feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and even angry. That can   become a vicious cycle which can make us emotionally and physically   sick.

  

To control it, we need to ask for help, learn to say NO and set   up realistic expectations. There is no easy way to learn to say NO, its just a   lot practice and realizing the bigger goal. When we say NO, we are taking care   of ourselves. When we say no, we are practicing self-care. Make sure to   pencil yourself in on the calendar for some time for yourself. Also, take   mini-breaks throughout the day. Just taking five minutes to go outside in   nature or to take a few deep breaths and relax can help us to refuel and   refresh which makes us more productive. If we continue to try and do   everything perfectly or to be in control of everything we are setting   ourselves up for failure..

  

Dear Diane 

  

How do I respond when others say that I am being selfish when I   do some things for myself?
Tell them the truth. You can’t take care of others, if you don’t   take care of yourself first. We need to be healthy in order to be there for   others.  If our basic needs aren’t met we can become mentally,   emotionally and physically fatigued.  Taking care of ourselves is not a   selfish act, it’s an important act that I recommend to all my friends, family   and clients.  When we make ourselves a priority we show others the   respect we have for ourselves which makes us a great role model for our   kids. Kids need to see how important it is to respect yourself and your body.   
 
Its back to school time BUT that also means it’s Back to you   time!! Come join me this fall for some great workshops. If your interested in   a workshop that isn’t in a convenient location or doesn’t fit your schedule,   please email me and we can set up a one-one time that the workshop can be done   on-line in the convenience of your own home.
 
Workshops:
Friday, September 20, 1pm – Grief – Free workshop
Oakville Senior center, CT
Please register at 860-945-5250
Monday, September 23, 7pm – Positive Parent
Westfield adult school, NJ
908-232-4050
Wednesday, September 25, 7pm – Re-entering the   workforce
Union County College, NJ
908-709-7606
Thursday, September 26, 6:30pm- Declutter life and reduce   stress
Sussex Community College, NJ
973-300-2140
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About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang is a Therapist, educator, author and life coach. Diane has two books: Baby steps the path from motherhood to Career and Creating balance & finding happiness. Diane works as a Therapist and also is an adjunct at Montclair State University. This blog will help educate and empower you to live your best life! For more information please visit her website: www.dlcounseling.com
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