Love yourself first

Most of my clients real issues are due to a lack of   self-love. Without self love, its hard to love others. We need to find a   sense of self. With a sense of self comes direction and purpose. With the New   Year around the corner lets start out with learning to love yourself or   actually remembering that you did love yourself. Watch children, they love   themselves, they are not afraid of life, to take risks and be interested in   themselves, to be honest, to laugh, play and love. We are born with   self-love.
So, lets bring it back to what we truly need to start our new   year out on our best foot forward.
Monday challenge – love yourself!
8 ways to love yourself first
1. Be aware of your “Self-talk”- do you have that negative   download playing in your head constantly? The negative mental chatter that   says: your no good, I’m not worthy, that will never happen to   me.
Be aware of your thoughts and how your feeling. Try the snap 2  awareness technique. Wear a rubber band for a day and snap every time you have   a negative thought or comment. You might be surprised on how many snaps you   have by the end of the day but it will remind you of how negative we can   be.
2. Commit to change – know that changing your thoughts will   change your actions and that will be scary. It will be the unknown. Counteract   that fear by making a commitment to yourself that no matter what your feeling   you will continue to work through the changes.
3. Start with positive affirmations – after you become   self-aware, think about the negative thoughts your having and what changes you   want to make. Make a positive affirmation that represents that   change.
So, if your trying to live a healthy lifestyle instead of saying   negative comments like I’m fat, I can’t lose weight, change it to: I’m   healthy, I love living a healthy lifestyle, etc.
A positive affirmation takes the negative thought (which is usually irrational) and trades it in for a positive(more rational) thought.   You constantly reaffirm the positive by saying it through the day, everyday.   It rewires your brain for the positive.
4. Be grateful for the good – while we tend to focus on the bad,   lets change that by focusing on the good. Write a list of all the things you   have to be grateful for. Don’t judge it, just write it down. Write a new list   everyday. Keep the gratitude going on a daily basis.
5. Emotional detox- to feel good about yourself, you must   surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Positive/negative  emotions are contagious so watch who you spend your time with.
6. Be your true self not your false self – be authentic, let  people see the real you. They might like you, they might not. It is a risk BUT   if they like the false self then you are always stuck in a lie. It is a lot   more energy to live a lie.
When you are your true self – you are vulnerable. Vulnerability   will open you up to true love, relationships and new possibilities. Vulnerability can change your whole world.
If your not sure what parts of yourself your hiding ask yourself:
1. What part of myself did I learn to cover up as a child so I wouldn’t get hurt?
2. What relationships nurture you?
3. Which relationships make you feel worse about   yourself?
4. Does your work situation cause you to grow and develop? Or   does it cause you to feel stale an stagnate?
7. Nurture yourself – write a list of things you love to do. Then   make a schedule and add them in to your life.
8. Forgive yourself – if we hold onto anger of our past mistakes   then we stay in a life of comparison, jealousy, resentment an unhappiness.   Mistakes are teachable moments that are necessary in life to move ahead, grow   and develop. There is no reason to hold on to the mistake just the lesson you have learned from it and the new direction it took you in.
December Workshops   – Retrain Your   Brain for Success Brookdale Community College, NJ Telephone –   732 – 224-2303  
Monday, December 9, 7pm – Declutter Your   Life and Reduce Stress Parsippany Adult School, NJ Telephone –   973-263-7180  
Thursday, December 12, 6:30pm – Branding   Yourself Hofstra University, Long Island Telephone –   516-463-7200

About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang is a Therapist, educator, author and life coach. Diane has two books: Baby steps the path from motherhood to Career and Creating balance & finding happiness. Diane works as a Therapist and also is an adjunct at Montclair State University. This blog will help educate and empower you to live your best life! For more information please visit her website:
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4 Responses to Love yourself first

  1. DougDoesLife says:

    I’ve done these steps on my own and my life has changed for the better. It’s difficult to stick with, but worth it. One positive outcome of this process is it’s fueled my blog postings!

  2. Anne Alworth says:

    Each notes are so helpful

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