Re-defining success- Monday challenge
With the New year right around the corner, we start thinking about starting fresh, a new chance for a new you. We start asking the question: What changes should I make? This is all good BUT we can start our changes, new goals/lifestyles anytime we want. There is no reason to wait for the New year and put some much hope on one day of the year – January 1st. Every day is a new day, a fresh start to make any changes you want.
The way to make changes is to Re-define success- what is success?
Everyone has a different definition of success.
Here is Dictionary.com’s definition of success:
“The accomplishment of an aim or purpose.”
This is a great definition because it leaves “YOU” the ability to figure out what you want to accomplish not the rules set by society, your parents, friends, etc. Its all up to you.
To start your changes, you need to decide:
1. What is your aim and purpose?
2. What do you want to accomplish?
3. What goals both short and long term can I set up to accomplish this?
4. What skills, abilities do I need to accomplish this goal?
5. What can I do today? This week? Month? To get these skills, abilities to get moving forward on my goals?
This is a great way to get started whether it’s today or January 1st.
There are also other ways to define success. They are the small things we forget to look at but if we did we would view every day as a success.
10 ways to determine success daily
1. Did I make good choices today? Did I stick to my values?
2. Did I take responsibility for my actions? Did I not play the victim?
3. Did I take action towards my goals today no matter the outcome?
4. Did I learn a lesson from a negative situation or event?
5. Did I not repeat the same mistake again because I learned from it?
6. Did I stop the negative self-talk in my head? Did I stop the inner critic just by being aware of that negative voice in my head.
7. Did I pay it forward today?
8. Did I notice I was being negative and change the situation by changing my perspective?
9. Did I get back up when I fell down today? Just getting back up is a success!
10. Did I show self-compassion, kindness and patience towards myself? Did I realize just making the effort and going towards my dreams is success?
Remember, your success isn’t determined by what happens each day – its looking at the big picture. I might have bad days, weeks or even months but in the end did I reach my goal or find a better goal for myself? That’s what is important. So always keep the big picture in mind. In the meanwhile look at your mall success by asking yourself the 10 questions above. We can have small and big successes each and every day.
Diane Lang, MA, Therapist, Educator and Life Coach Diane Lang has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally. A therapist and educator of Positive Psychology, she has seen that it can provide a strong foundation for finding great happiness and is gratified that it is becoming a mainstream method of treatment.
A parent herself, Lang has taught Positive Parenting to parents and written extensively on the benefits of using it with even the youngest children. She has also spoken or conducted seminars on postpartum depression, striving for balance versus having it all and practical tips on interviewing, networking and dressing for success and is the author of “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career.”
A life coach at Discovery psychotherapy center in Morristown, NJ, Her clinical experience includes treating patients with different forms of mental illness, physical and emotional abuse and relationship issues. Lang is also an Adjunct Professor in Psychology at Montclair State University; her college work includes mentoring students for individual career counseling and personal issue advisement.
As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good Morning CT, Better CT, CT Style and the national television program “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet and appeared in various educational videos. In addition Lang writes a blog at pazoo.com.
Lang has an M.A. in Counseling and a B.A. in Liberal Arts from the New York Institute of Technology. Please visit her website for more information: www.dlcounseling.com