Problem solving with a positive twist

 Problem solving with a positive twist

When we start thinking about solving a problem we always start from a place of:

“Why isn’t this working?” or “What am I doing wrong?”

Many therapists will start their sessions with questions such as:

What’s wrong or what’s not working?

But as a Positive psychology coach, I work from a different approach. I start most of my sessions off with the following questions:

What is working in your life? Why is that part of your life successful?

What is going right in your life at this moment?

Then we go into a discussion on figuring out what is working and how we can use those skills/tools in other areas of our life to get the same results.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to ask: what’s wrong?  Or what’s not working? You will get answers with those questions BUT why not try to switch it around and come from a positive perspective?

When we have a problem/issue we tend to focus on the negative but if we think about it even when there is a problem/issue there are always areas of our life that are going well. We can learn from those areas. We can take the areas of our life that are successful and replicate it in other areas.

Look at areas of your life that are going well right now. Ask yourself:

What am I doing right in this area?

What is your belief system in that area – you might have a stronger sense of confidence in that area.

For example: I had a mom who was a stay at home mom for over 12 years and was trying to get back into the workforce. She was very confident as a parent and homemaker but felt a lack of confidence in the interview process and working outside of the home. This gave us the direction we needed for our next few sessions.

Do you put more work into the area of your life that is successful?

Do you enjoy that area more? – is it possible that one or more areas of your life aren’t as successful because you don’t enjoy it or it’s not a good fit for you. Are you holding onto a job or relationship that no longer serves you?

There are two ways to problem solve.

1.      Asking and looking into what isn’t working and what’s gone wrong

 Or

2.      Asking yourself: what is working? What can I learn from it?

Just the change of perspective and the questions you ask yourself can give you the answers you are looking for.

 February workshops

Tuesday, February 18 – 12;30 – Living Your Best Life
Brookdale Community College, NJ
Student Wide Event
 
Wednesday, February 19, 10am – Living Your Best Life
Women’s Connection Brunch
 
Thursday, February 20, 7pm – Re-Entering the Workforce
Union County College, NJ
Telephone: 908-706-7601
 
Saturday, February 22, 10am – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Brookdale Community College, NJ
Telephone: 732-224-2303
 
Wednesday, February 26, 6:30pm – What Kind of Smart Are You – Personality Test
Hofstra University, Long Island
Telephone: 516-463-7200
 
Thursday, February 27, 7pm – What Kind of Smart Are You – Personality Test
Ramsey Adult school, NJ
Telephone: 201-327-2025
 
Friday, February 28, 1pm – Aging Gracefully – Free Event
Oakville Senior Center, CT
Telephone: 860-945-5250

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About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang is a Therapist, educator, author and life coach. Diane has two books: Baby steps the path from motherhood to Career and Creating balance & finding happiness. Diane works as a Therapist and also is an adjunct at Montclair State University. This blog will help educate and empower you to live your best life! For more information please visit her website: www.dlcounseling.com
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