Changing a Thought

Changing A Thought…

Here is the good news: You don’t have to hold on to a thought, belief, habit or pattern. We are not stuck to any of this. You have the power to change how you think, change a habit/belief or pattern. Just this phrase alone should give you a sense of hope. But it does take some work and repetitiveness.

This is how it’s done.

Take a situation that you’re struggling with. It can be anything you want to change or deal with.

Write down the situation/issue.

Look at the situation/issue and ask yourself – what is the belief and feeling with this? What comes up for me when I really think about this issue/situation?


How I feel -I feel rejected, I feel like the other person doesn’t care about me

The Belief – I’m no good and no-one cares about me

This person not caring justifies my feelings of being not worthy or no good -s o, my feelings justified my behavior.


Is this belief true? Is it an irrational belief? Where does this belief come from?

Most of our beliefs are not our own. They come from our childhood. For most people, the belief is no longer who they are anymore and no longer serves them. The belief also might be from an unreliable source. This allows you to question your belief. This allows you to see your belief is not something written in stone and set forever in your life.

Look at the belief for what it really is – it’s old, doesn’t serve you anymore and challenge it.

Is it true that I’m really no good? Or no-one cares? You can challenge it by writing a list of the people who do love and care about you.

When you see how the belief/habit isn’t true then you can start asking yourself

Why do I hold on to this belief- the truth is we hold onto things that don’t serve us for a reason. It fulfills some kind of need. It might be justifying your negativity but it fulfills something.

You can change the belief and write a new story about yourself – what’s my new story/belief about myself? What do I need to work on?

Starting today I will do ______________ to change my belief? You fill in the blank.

Be empathetic and kind to yourself.

About Diane Lang…
Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert

About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang, practicing therapist, national speaker, educator, and certified positive psychology coach, has her master’s degree in counseling and is an adjunct in psychology at Montclair State University. She has written three books, and has been featured in various publications, and on TV and Internet shows. Diane speaks on various mental and emotional health topics including Happiness, Resiliency, Stress management, Parenting Positive Aging, Anxiety, and Depression in both teens and adults. Diane also specializes in Positive Psychology Positive Education and Positive Parenting. Thousands of individuals have benefited from Diane’s motivational and educational speaking, trainings, and coaching. Her Hands-on approach along with her background, education and experience has proven to be beneficial to all who attend her presentation. To learn more on how you could bring Diane to your organization please email
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