Finding Hope

Finding Hope:

Hope is a feeling of desire, believe or trust
“Hope is to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence…..”

For some hope is part of why they are, they are naturally hopeful. I have had some clients and friends who in their deepest despair could always survive and thrive because they had hope. They had the ability to know things would get better and that everything would be fine. They might not know how it will work itself out but they just knew it would. It is the ability to see things from a hopeful perspective. With hope comes optimism, motivation, inspiration, creativity and resiliency.

I went through a few weeks this summer when I felt sad and down and I couldn’t figure out why in the beginning but then I realized the bottom line was I lost hope. Once I found hope again life started turning around for the better. I realized through my work and personal experience we can always be more hopeful.

If you find yourself needing more hope in your life. Here are a few ways to find it

1. Set goals – we become hopeful when we have a goal to attain. The goal needs to be realistic, challenging and not too easy. When we set a goal it opens the door to new opportunities and possibilities that brings a level of excitement and hope.

2. Consistency and persistence – give your goals time to blossom.

3. Put work into the goal – I had many clients who were great at setting and writing their goals down but not taking action. Here are some things to avoid with goal setting:
* Don’t pick too many goals – start small. If we have too many goals we can become overwhelmed and stressed out which will leads to procrastination and loss of hope in ourselves and our goals.
* Realistic goals – if you pick a goal that is unattainable you will set yourself up for failure.
* If the goal is too easy it will cause boredom and being unchallenged.
A goal isn’t attainable unless you set an action plan to get there. Write your goals, an action plan and work on it daily.

4. Surround yourself with positive/hopeful people – moods/emotions are contagious. We stay more positive and hopeful if we are surrounded by the same type of people.

5. Choose hope – if not your choosing fear. Hope is a perspective just like happiness. Its a choice.
Do you choose Hope or fear?

6. Seeing the big picture- not looking at just one negative event instead look at the big picture even when something goes wrong, there is still always good.
* I have a client going through a divorce and even thought that is tough she is looking at the big picture and seeing the good such as her health, her kids health, close friendships and family.

7. Taking risks – win or lose doesn’t matter its taking a leap of faith that brings us hope. Knowing we survived and tried brings a sense of hope and accomplishment. Knowing I will learn and be smarter and stronger from my mistakes brings us hope. Knowing I was open to failure inspires me to go further and try again.

How do you find hope?

September 11 Through October 9, 10am – Emotional Wellness Series
Rutgers University, NJ – Osher Life Long Learning
Telephone: 732-932-7233

Saturday, September 20, 2pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress- Free Workshop
Stratford Public Library, NJ

Monday, September 22, 7pm – Dealing with Loss
Paramus Community School, NJ
Telephone: 201-261-7800 Ext 3038

Monday, September 29, 6pm – Transitioning into Mid-Life
Hofstra University, NY
Telephone: 516-463-7200

About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang, practicing therapist, national speaker, educator, and certified positive psychology coach, has her master’s degree in counseling and is an adjunct in psychology at Montclair State University. She has written three books, and has been featured in various publications, and on TV and Internet shows. Diane speaks on various mental and emotional health topics including Happiness, Resiliency, Stress management, Parenting Positive Aging, Anxiety, and Depression in both teens and adults. Diane also specializes in Positive Psychology Positive Education and Positive Parenting. Thousands of individuals have benefited from Diane’s motivational and educational speaking, trainings, and coaching. Her Hands-on approach along with her background, education and experience has proven to be beneficial to all who attend her presentation. To learn more on how you could bring Diane to your organization please email
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