8 tips for dealing with negative people

8 Tips For Dealing With Negative People:


By: Diane Lang

We all have some negative people in our lives. It could be family (and for most of my clients, it is family), friends, co-workers, neighbors, spouses or even our own kids. Sometimes we can break up with the negative people in our lives but sometimes we can’t. If you have negative people in your life then here are some tips for dealing with them.

1. If you know why someone is negative, its easier to deal with them. It allows you to realize their negativity is not about you.Its all about them. Its not personal. You can also find empathy and compassion for the person when you know why they are so negative. This can allow you to remove the personalization feelings.

2. Moods/emotions are contagious – this goes two ways. You can spread your happiness to them but it also means their negativity can rub off on you! Learn the mind-body connection. When you start feeling stress, anger or negativity how does it show up on your body? Some of the typical spots are shoulder/back, headaches, jaw pain from grinding teeth or stomachache. When you start feeling the negativity on your body then its a warning sign, a red flag to stop what your doing and make a change. It might mean walking away from the situation, taking a time-out or setting boundaries. Just make sure to pay attention to your body.

3.Keep up your own happiness levels – if your living with negativity, the best way to keep balanced is to spend a lot of time doing what makes you happy. Write a list of what makes you happy and then add those activities into your weekly schedule.

4. Is it a sign? Sometimes the negatives we are surrounded with is a sign that we need to make changes in our own life. Look at the whole picture. Are you stuck in a relationship that is not working and making you unhappy? Do you need to make changes to make the relationship better? Is it time to move on from the relationship? Is it a sign that you need to switch jobs? etc?

5. Why does the person’s negativity affect you so much? Does it hit a past hurt that you haven’t worked through yet? Is it causing deep rooted anger and you need to work on forgiveness for yourself or others?
Is the person who keeps pushing your buttons doing it so you can feel their pain? They don’t feel heard or understood but just don’t know how else to get through to you? Do you stay in a relationship because it fits your own needs such as care taking, being needed? Makes you feel valued and wanted? lf any of this is true then you need to look at other ways to feel valued and needed. Ask yourself what’s missing out of your life that needs to be fulfilled?

6. Its not your job or responsibility to solve someone’s problems or make them happy. Let go of this responsibility. You can’t change or control anyone else and trying to is setting yourself up for failure.

7. Remind the negative person about the positive – discuss all that the person has to be grateful for. Remind them of all the good they do. Tell them something positive about themselves and give them reasons to be grateful, if they need encouragement.

8. If your close with the negative person then try to set up some fun time and things to look forward to. When they are in the fun zone, they are less likely to complain and it can help them forget their worries for a little bit. It also gives both of you something positive to look forward to.

JANUARY WORKSHOPS: School of Positivity

Tuesday, January 20 at 7pm – Hillsborough Public Library, NJ – Living your best life. Register at 908-369-2200

Thursday, January 22 & 29 at 1pm – Montville Public Library. NJ- New Year, New You! Register at 973-402-0900

Saturday, January 24 at 2pm – Warren Township Public Library, NJ
Re-train your brain for success. Register at 908-754-5554

Thursday, January 29 at 7pm – Haverstraw Public Library, NY- Seasonal Disorder. Register at 845-786-3800

About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang, practicing therapist, national speaker, educator, and certified positive psychology coach, has her master’s degree in counseling and is an adjunct in psychology at Montclair State University. She has written three books, and has been featured in various publications, and on TV and Internet shows. Diane speaks on various mental and emotional health topics including Happiness, Resiliency, Stress management, Parenting Positive Aging, Anxiety, and Depression in both teens and adults. Diane also specializes in Positive Psychology Positive Education and Positive Parenting. Thousands of individuals have benefited from Diane’s motivational and educational speaking, trainings, and coaching. Her Hands-on approach along with her background, education and experience has proven to be beneficial to all who attend her presentation. To learn more on how you could bring Diane to your organization please email dlcounselingmedia@gmail.com
This entry was posted in adult education, Change, coaching, Goals, growth, happiness, life coaching, New Years, non-credit courses, personal development, positive psychology, psychology, school, self help, spirituality, workshops and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to 8 tips for dealing with negative people

  1. Joanna Aislinn says:

    2 and 3 make a whole lot of sense to me. When I’m home and feel me overwhelming myself–I’m so good at that–I do what I can to get out into the fresh air and take a good, old-fashioned walk. Most of the time, it’s like hitting the RESET button. Thanks, Diane!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s