Im a Positive Psychologist not Pollyanna….Its ok to have a bad day!

Happiness Talk:

By: Diane Lang

“I’m a Positive Psychologist, not Pollyanna…”
“It’s okay to have a bad day.”

I always get asked the question: Are you always happy? When you study and teach Happiness people tend to think your always happy. The truth is we can’t always be happy nor should we try. The pursuit of happiness all the time would be an unrealistic expectation. Here are some facts:

1. We can’t always be happy – there will always be circumstances that are out outside of our control that will affect our lives.
* Reminder – We cant control anyone but ourselves or how we react to situation. Sometimes we have the control of what situations we put ourselves in but that is a big sometimes.
The only other source of control we have is to Let go & accept. When we have lost all control, we can gain back a sense of control by letting go and accepting our situation.

2. We all have a Happiness set point – everyone genetically has a different set point of happiness. Some people are happier then others naturally. What we do know is that you can always be happier. You can work from your happiness set point and improve on it. Think of the happiness set point as your foundation.

3. Yes, we should feel our emotions – I remember growing up my parents and others telling me “women don’t anger” or “Men don’t cry” not feeling and accepting our emotions just sets us up for failure. You should feel your emotions. Feel them accept them so you can move forward.

4. Happiness Habits do exist – we know if you practice certain habits daily your happiness levels will rise.
Make sure to add daily doses of Gratitude, Meditation, Exercise, Self-care, positive affirmations, etc.

5. A lot of our personality traits are learned – just a reminder that 50% of your personality is genetic. 10% of your personality is circumstances that are outside your control but affect your life. 40% of your personality is environmental/lifestyle – which is learned. You can change those negative thoughts/habits/beliefs. Every time you don’t think you can just remember they are learned so you can unlearn them and form new habits.

Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.

Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Lang speaks to employees of large companies to help reduce stress in the workplace and speaks to parents about how to create balance and find happiness along with a variety of other health and wellness topics. For rates or to book Diane Lang contact or for more information please visit Diane’s website:

Diane is also the author of two books: “Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career” and “Creating Balance and Finding Happiness.

About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang, practicing therapist, national speaker, educator, and certified positive psychology coach, has her master’s degree in counseling and is an adjunct in psychology at Montclair State University. She has written three books, and has been featured in various publications, and on TV and Internet shows. Diane speaks on various mental and emotional health topics including Happiness, Resiliency, Stress management, Parenting Positive Aging, Anxiety, and Depression in both teens and adults. Diane also specializes in Positive Psychology Positive Education and Positive Parenting. Thousands of individuals have benefited from Diane’s motivational and educational speaking, trainings, and coaching. Her Hands-on approach along with her background, education and experience has proven to be beneficial to all who attend her presentation. To learn more on how you could bring Diane to your organization please email
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