Small things that make big changes

Small Things That Make Big Changes:
By: Diane Lang

Here are a few things I have learned in the last ten years as a therapist and life coach. These small things I have learned have helped my clients and myself make big changes.

1. The more attached to something I ‘am, the less I enjoy it. The freedom and the fun come from the activity not the outcome. When I become attached to the outcome, I can no longer enjoy the journey.
This is why “Flow” is so important. Flow causes you to be so immersed in the activity you don’t even think about the final outcome. When I can enjoy an activity or goal without knowing the outcome then I have found a sense of peace.

2. I don’t need to know all the answers – As a therapist and coach, I have spent so much time searching for answers that I forget the importance of the question. Sometimes the question is the journey and the answer should be right out of our reach. If you received all the answers then why would be put here on this planet for 75-85 years? We are given the time to live out the questions and experience the answers at a slow pace where we are always learning and the questions are always changing.

3. Acceptance – I will accept what I cant control. What I have learned through many years of experience is that we cant control anything but ourselves and our reactions. Sometimes we can control the situations but that is a big sometimes. What I did learn is when all control is gone we need to dig deeper and find our true sense of control which is to let go and accept. Once you let go and accept things life always change for the better. A pressure is released.

4. I have learned that the hardest thing for me is to learn to trust myself. To have faith in myself. To do this means I need to stop looking for acceptance and approval from others and find it within myself. This is a constant struggle for me as well as many others. I have learned baby steps is the answer. I start with small things/less important things, this builds my trust and faith in myself.

5. Part of our mission in life is to keep learning and growing. To be open to all life has to offer. To take risks and step outside the box we have created for ourselves. To be open to new possibilities and opportunities. To always remain curious about life. If I’m not constantly curious and open, I will become stuck and stale. Life is meant to be lived in action!

6. Pay attention to your body – it gives you clues of what your feeling emotionally. I have the ability to intellectualize all the negativity around me and not feel the pain. But if we don’t feel, we can not heal!
Our bodies tell us a different story. My body feels the hurt, pain, sadness through headaches, stomach issues, jaw pain,muscles aches and low immune system. If we take time to tune into our bodies and pay attention to what’s going on we can prevent major stress and anger from ruining our lives.

7. I have learned if everyone just did one act of kindness per day we could change the world. Moods/emotions are contagious and if we pass it on constantly we can change the mood of others. Just a smile can brighten someone’s day. A hug could heal someone’s broken heart. A word of kindness can make someone feel special. Lets make a pact to start changing the world today!

Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.

Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Lang speaks to employees of large companies to help reduce stress in the workplace and speaks to parents about how to create balance and find happiness along with a variety of other health and wellness topics. For rates or to book Diane Lang contact

Diane is also the author of two books: “Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career” and “Creating Balance and Finding Happiness.

About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang, practicing therapist, national speaker, educator, and certified positive psychology coach, has her master’s degree in counseling and is an adjunct in psychology at Montclair State University. She has written three books, and has been featured in various publications, and on TV and Internet shows. Diane speaks on various mental and emotional health topics including Happiness, Resiliency, Stress management, Parenting Positive Aging, Anxiety, and Depression in both teens and adults. Diane also specializes in Positive Psychology Positive Education and Positive Parenting. Thousands of individuals have benefited from Diane’s motivational and educational speaking, trainings, and coaching. Her Hands-on approach along with her background, education and experience has proven to be beneficial to all who attend her presentation. To learn more on how you could bring Diane to your organization please email
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