The challenge of change

The Challenge of Change:
By: Diane Lang
Most of  us fear change. Change is a very intimidating word. When we think of change, we feel the panic going through our bodies.
Fear can stop us in our tracks and cause us to feel frozen and numb. If we continue to feel this way, we will eventually become stale and even depressed.
There is nothing wrong with having some fear in our lives. Fear can be a motivator. It can help us in threatening cases. Fear can shed some light on difficult situations. Fear becomes dangerous when we hold onto it and let it rule our life.
Fear is caused by excessive worrying about the future. It is unrealistic to think we can control our future or even know what will happen next but yet we try which sets us up for failure.
To release fear, we need to live in the moment. Your past is already gone. Use your past as a teachable moment. Take your lessons from the past and ask yourself:
What did I learn?
What could I do different in this type of situation if it arises again?
How can I prevent this type of situations to happen again?
Then let it go and move forward. Don’t fear the past coming back to haunt you because you learned from it and released it.
Don’t fear the future. We have no control over our future except for planning for it. So, plan away. Set up a 401 for your retirement. Set up a 529 for your kid’s college and futures. Set up savings for a rainy day, etc. Then let it go.  Let go of what you can’t control. If you have no control over something, then holding onto it just causes stress, anger and fear.
If we live in the past or future, we are setting ourselves up for failure. However, when we live in the moment, we know everything is fine because it is. In the moment all is well.
Fear can be a learned trait if we watched our parents live a fearful life, we can follow suit. I had a client who was very fearful of money. Why? Because her parents grew up in the great depression and lived in fear of having no money. They passed that fear down to their kids. At the time it was probably a realistic fear, but is it a realistic fear today? Always ask yourself these questions when feeling fearful:
Is my fear realistic?
Is my fear based on the past or a learned trait?
Is my fear based on excessive worry of the future?
Then ask yourself: What can I do now to change my thought process?
When we take action, we release our fear. It brings back our power. Even small baby steps will start the process of releasing fear. Every time we accomplish a goal, we get a feeling of positive reinforcement that motivates us to move forward and continue on our journey.
Visualize your life without fear. What would it look like? How would you feel?
 What would you do differently? These questions are “wake up” questions for me. Every time I ask myself, “what would life look like without fear?” I get an “aha moment” because I realize I don’t have to live with fear. It’s my choice to carry the fear with me. Happiness is a choice as much as fear is. Which will you choose?
When visualizing your life without fear add details, have fun with it. Make a collage,  draw your life, etc. whatever works best for you but visualize. If you can’t see it, you can’t accomplish it.

About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang, practicing therapist, national speaker, educator, and certified positive psychology coach, has her master’s degree in counseling and is an adjunct in psychology at Montclair State University. She has written three books, and has been featured in various publications, and on TV and Internet shows. Diane speaks on various mental and emotional health topics including Happiness, Resiliency, Stress management, Parenting Positive Aging, Anxiety, and Depression in both teens and adults. Diane also specializes in Positive Psychology Positive Education and Positive Parenting. Thousands of individuals have benefited from Diane’s motivational and educational speaking, trainings, and coaching. Her Hands-on approach along with her background, education and experience has proven to be beneficial to all who attend her presentation. To learn more on how you could bring Diane to your organization please email
This entry was posted in beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, Parent, parenting, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The challenge of change

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