Stop trying to change others. When we stop trying to change others, we stop the frustration. The one constant in life is change. Even if you try not to change your life, changes will happen. They occur naturally as we age. Our bodies change naturally and so does life around us. We don’t have control over a lot of things in our life such as the weather, economy, other people, etc, but you have control over yourself and how you react. You have control over acceptance. We don’t have to like or remain in situations but we do have to accept others for who they are. The best advice I received many years ago when I started in the field was: if someone shows you who they are, believe them!
Don’t try to change them or think they will change if you show them the light. People choose to change when they are ready, want to and for many it’s not till they hit rock bottom. The part we must remember is everyone’s rock bottom is different. My rock bottom is different then many of my clients and there have been times I have watched clients go through things that were so horrible, I couldn’t imagine it not being there rock bottom but it wasn’t. Rock bottom is an individual thing. I have seen clients become paralyzed, lose their family, friends and all their money over addiction and that wasn’t there rock bottom. The good news is when we finally do hit our rock bottom it creates the need to change. There is power in rock bottom. What we need to learn is we don’t need to go so far down till become the person we want to be.
So we must remind ourselves to stop trying to change others, to stop expecting change from anyone besides yourself.