Acceptance & Transformation

Acceptance & Transformation
By: Diane Lang

Acceptance is accepting where you are today. Acceptance means accepting your current situation. It’s dealing with the stuff you can’t change or control. Acceptance is not a pass to give up, remain in denial or just let it go without action.

True acceptance is a form of action and with action comes hope. When we feel hope, we feel motivated to move forward.

Does true acceptance really bring transformation? Most people ask this because acceptance comes with the stereotype of giving up, letting go or walking away. This is not the truth and a myth we need to let go off because with those myths comes the feeling that acceptance is giving up and a sign of weakness.

The truth is acceptance is the foundation for growth and transformation. It’s the beginning of change and none of that includes giving up.
Acceptance is an act of courage and bravery. To accept your life as is and be in that moment for as much time as you need means facing your feelings. Your true feelings come up and we can feel hurt, suffering, anger, fear, helplessness, pain, etc. Acceptance brings the feelings to the surface. Acceptance means you let go of the fight. You let go of the resistance which also means letting go of the stress that comes with the fight.

When we release all that resistance, we become free. With true acceptance, we can finally breathe again. When we release the resistance and all the stress that comes with it, we gain clarity. With clarity we can make decisions based on love instead fear.
Acceptance is just the first step in your transformation.

Five steps to transformation


1. Acceptance.
2. Feel the emotions of your life at this moment.
3. Release the stress and resistance. Give up the fight of something you have no control over.
4. Breathe and just stay in the acceptance zone which I call the gray zone. The gray zone is the transition time from your old identity to your new identity. The gray zone is filled with fear and confusion. This is a time when you need to think, analyze and reevaluate your life. Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? What part of your old identity do you want to take with you? What’s your future vision look like? Feel like?
5. Action – this is the time to make a commitment to move into your new identity. Set intrinsic, realistic goals with a realistic time frame

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About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang, practicing therapist, national speaker, educator, and certified positive psychology coach, has her master’s degree in counseling and is an adjunct in psychology at Montclair State University. She has written three books, and has been featured in various publications, and on TV and Internet shows. Diane speaks on various mental and emotional health topics including Happiness, Resiliency, Stress management, Parenting Positive Aging, Anxiety, and Depression in both teens and adults. Diane also specializes in Positive Psychology Positive Education and Positive Parenting. Thousands of individuals have benefited from Diane’s motivational and educational speaking, trainings, and coaching. Her Hands-on approach along with her background, education and experience has proven to be beneficial to all who attend her presentation. To learn more on how you could bring Diane to your organization please email
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