Staying away from the negativity – its contagious!

Staying Away From The Negativity:
By: Diane Lang

Times are tough, that’s what we hear from everyone. Going to college puts us in debt, prices are high, politics, natural disasters are all around us. These are just a few of the stories we see daily on our TV, on our computers, social media pages and hear on the radio. How are we to escape all this negativity so we can move forward in our day to day lives? When things are bad in the world, we still need to have some normalcy so we can sleep at night and keep our ourselves happy and healthy. I wish I could get rid of all the stress and negativity in the world, but I can’t. However, here are some tips to help you get through your day on a positive note.

1. Stay away from the negative – there is no reason why you must watch the negativity on the TV, hear it on the radio, read it on your computers 24 hours a day. We can make a conscious choice to limit our negative media time. I have learned that it is better to watch the cartoons and kids shows on Disney with my daughter then all the morning programs. Why? Because the morning shows have one positive story to 10 negative ones. I can’t compete with the negative. I’m not saying to ignore the world events but limiting the amount of negativity you get in one day is a healthier choice.

2. Negativity is not just found on your local news programs. Watch the “Toxic” people in your life. Moods/emotions are contagious. If you surround yourself with negative people, it will rub off on you. It only takes about 10 minutes for a mood to be passed onto others. If your surrounded by negativity it can make your feel drained, fatigued, stressed and anxious.

3. Watch the negative self-talk. Try this experiment for a day (Snap to awareness exercise): Wear a rubber band around your wrist and every time you have a negative thought, action or say something negative to others, snap the rubber band. You might be surprised how red your wrist is by the end of the day. When we are feeling negative, we tend to catastrophize what is going on and one small issue turns into a big issue. We domino affect one problem into many others.
Example: Driving to work on the highway and suddenly you hit traffic and you’re stuck. You get upset but instead of just focusing on the traffic, it turns into a negativity party. You start insulting the traffic, the car you drive, the other drivers, the weather, the place you were going to, etc.
When you do the “Snap to awareness” exercise with the rubber band, you find out how negative you are. This self-awareness can allow you to slow down the negativity.
Watch the negative words like: Maybe, should, could or would. Replace them with power words like: Choose, Choice, I will, etc.

4. Work on what you can control in your life not what you can’t. Just a quick reminder – we can only change ourselves; we can never control others. If we try to change others, we are setting ourselves up for failure because it’s unrealistic. Make a list of everything in your life you can control then ask yourself- what can I do about it now? Set up goals and action plans. Make sure all goals are realistic and achievable. Make sure the time frame you set up for goals is realistic. Take baby steps when making changes.

5. Tough times are real, but they are only temporary. Remember that when things are bad. Instead of saying things like: This will never change, this problem seems impossible, etc. Start saying: This issue/situation is only temporary. You’re not a victim. Go back to #4 and work on what you can control. This brings back the power.

6. Tough times are teachable moments. I always tell clients, don’t live in the past, learn from your past. The tough situation you’re in now will be temporary and then one day will be a teachable moment. Think to yourself what can I learn from this issue? What can I do to not be a victim? I have adult college students tell me I lost my job but I’m using this time to further my education or learn a new skill. There is always a positive side to every negative story. Look for the positive.

7. Consequences – think of the consequences if you remain negative, stressed out and unbalanced. You will feel the affects emotionally, mentally and physically. Here are some the signs to look for:

Change in eating/sleeping habits
Low energy/fatigue
poor concentration, focus and attention
irritable/mood swings
low immune system
muscle aches and pains
migraines, jaw pain
stomach problems
isolation, depression
Burnout – mental, physical and emotional exhaustion

8. If you feel completely overwhelmed, seek professional help. Remember, you’re not alone; APA reported that 80% of Americans feel stressed out due to the economy. Harvard research says 90% of doctor’s visits are stress related.
July + August 2019 Schedule

Tuesday, July 30th, 6:30pm – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People
The Cedar Grove Public Library, NJ
Workshop is Free but Please Register at 973-239-1447

Wednesday, July 31st, 10:30am – Coping with Change & Transition
The Jointure, NJ
Register at 908-722-1563
——————————————————————-
Monday, August 5th, 10:30am – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Liberty Public Library, NY
Workshop is Free but Please Register at 845-292-6070

Thursday, August 8th, 10:30am – Life after Retirement
Mount Saint Mary College, NY
Register at 845-565-2076

Friday, August 9-11th – Retrain Your Brain for Success & Stress Less, Savor More
Woodloch Spa, PA
Register at 800-966-3562

Wednesday, August 14th, 10:30am – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
The Jointure, NJ
Register at 908-722-1563

Monday, July 19th, 10:30am – Having Healthy Relationships with Your Adult Kids
The Jointure, NJ
Register at 908-722-1563

Thursday, August 22, 1030am – Mindfully Happy – Waking Up to Life
Mount Saint Mary College – Desmond Campus, NY
Register at 845-565-2076

Monday, August 26th – September 23rd – Positive Psychology – Finding your Happiness
Rutgers Lifelong Learning, NJ
Register at http://www.olliru.rutgers.edu or 848-932-6554

About Diane Lang….

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

For more information please visit http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at dlcounseling2014@gmail.com

 

About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang is a Therapist, educator, author and life coach. Diane has two books: Baby steps the path from motherhood to Career and Creating balance & finding happiness. Diane works as a Therapist and also is an adjunct at Montclair State University. This blog will help educate and empower you to live your best life! For more information please visit her website: www.dlcounseling.com
This entry was posted in Abundance, adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Commitment, Conscious living, counseling, cultivate happiness, declutter, development, dream life, emotional declutter, emotional intelligence, Emotional Toolbox, empathy, fear, Goals, Gratitude, grief, growth, happiness, Human Resources, Intention, Joy, life coaching, loneliness, love, Meditation, Mindfulness, non-credit courses, Parent, parenting, pay it forward, personal development, positive emotions, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, school, self help, self-care, Soft Skills, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, toxic people, transitions, Uncategorized, values, working moms, Workplace Wellness, workshops and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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