Is having it all a reality we should be discussing?
By: Diane Lang
Most people have heard the expression – “Can we have it all? ” I know I have heard the expression many times. And each time I heard it, I would become more and more frustrated.
I wasn’t even sure what it meant to me.
That’s the first question to ask yourself. What would having it all mean to you? What would it look like? Feel like?
I always assumed it meant you can have a career, family, social life and be happy. Maybe, for you it looks different. I knew I wanted it all, but, I wasn’t sure if it was possible. I realized for me, I could have it, but it wouldn’t be perfect. There would be many ups and downs. I was okay with the struggles, I expected them, and I think that’s how I got through it.
Be honest with yourself, if you want to have it all make sure you realize what that will look like? The obstacles that you can expect. Make sure you have a support system.
If you’re expecting the balance to be smooth, well, then you will be in for a big surprise. However, if you realize it won’t be perfect then you are starting out with realistic expectations.
I also realized that I “needed” to have a career, family and a social life. If I wanted to be a good wife, mom and friend, I needed to have it all. It’s something I knew about myself before I got married or had a family. Having a career is part of my identity along with being a mom and if I removed one, I wouldn’t feel complete or happy.
You need to ask yourself the important questions:
What will make me be the best parent? Spouse? Person?
Will I be living a life that is in accordance to my value system?
Will I have meaning/purpose in my life?
Once you’re aware of what you need, then, you can start creating the life you want. Your life will get messy and crazy, but it will be yours.
September 2019 – Events and Workshops – Open to the Public
Monday, September 23, 7pm – What Kind of Smart Are You?
The Adult School, NJ
Tuesday, September 24, 6:30pm – Anger & Forgiveness
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Wednesday, September 25, 10:30am – Stop the Panic
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Register: 973-744-0500 Ext. 2224
Wednesday, September 25, 7pm – Coping with Change and Loss
The Adult School, NJ
Thursday, September 26, 10:30am – Letting Go of Perfection
Mount Saint Mary College – Desmond Campus, NY
About Diane Lang…
Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.
Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.
As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.