Tips for a great 2018

Tips For A Great New Year:

By: Diane Lang

 

We all want to start the New Year off right. We think to ourselves, this will be the year: I lose weight, start exercising, eat better, reconnect with old friends, get a new job, etc. These are all great goals but why do we wait till Jan 1st to form a new habit and make positive changes in our lives. This year, let’s make a promise to ourselves that the changes we make this year will be permanent and meaningful. They will set the year off to a positive start. This year I will:

1. I will make myself a priority this year- I will learn to say No to others when I feel overwhelmed and stressed. I will say yes to my needs and wants. This year I will learn its ok to put myself first and take care of myself. This year I will learn that selfish isn’t always a bad word I realize that if I take care of myself, I will be there for others.

2. I will be grateful for what I have- I will take the time to pause and think about all I have. This isn’t about my material objects. This is about my abundance of love, warmth, comfort, care and empathy I receive on a daily basis. This year I will make room in my life for gratitude checks where I spend a few minutes each day thinking about all I have in this life and just being thankful I have my life.

3. I will pay it forward constantly – I will give more of myself everyday. I will inspire, help and empower others on a daily basis.

4. I will step out of my comfort zone this year – I will take risks, add variety and become more creative. This is the year I won’t be stale or stagnate. The word “Bored” will be removed from my word list this year.

5. This year I will be a great role model. This will make me a better parent, mentor, friend and educator. I will teach others by my actions.

6. This year I will become fully aware of my negative thoughts, comments and actions towards myself and others. I will make a conscious effort to be more positive and respectful of others and myself. I realize positive energy, actions and thoughts are all contagious.

7. This year will be the year of action plans. Not only will I set short and long term goal lists but action plans on how to get there. I will write down each detail of my list and follow each step. I will feel a sense of accomplishment because I have taken action.

8. This year I will live in the present. I will let the past be in the past because the past doesn’t equal the future. I will stop worrying about the future because it doesn’t exist. I will not waste my energy being stressed about something that hasn’t happened yet.

9. I will spend less time this year trying to control others and being perfect. Neither one is possible and even though I have known this for many years, I never listened. This year I vow to let go of my controlling issues and perfectionist traits and learn to enjoy life in its messy existence. I will learn to enjoy the unorganized, the messy and not planned life. I will realize at the end of each day – everything works itself out.

 

10. This year I will say Thank you to everyone I love not just on new year’s, birthdays and holidays. I will say Sorry when needed, thanks when it’s deserved and I love you just because I do.

11. This year I won’t try so hard to be something/someone I’m not. I will not keep up with the Jones, compare myself to celebrities or wish I was someone else. This year I will learn to spend time alone with myself. I will learn what my likes/dislikes, strengths/weaknesses, dreams and hobbies are. I will becomes fully aware of who I am. This year is the year of me!

12. This year I will let go of all the expectations of what could be or should be but instead just live my life. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our unrealistic expectations that we forget to just enjoy the life that is here right now: Our present life, our present situations, environments and family. We forget to be clear and aware of our surroundings. The love, the warmth. The caring…the friendships…..the affection…I forget to enjoy those simple things.

January 2018 – Workshops Open to the Public
Monday, Jan 8th, 10:30am – Having Healthy Relationships with Your Adult Children
Mount Saint Mary College, Desmond Campus, NY
Phone: 845-565-2076
Wednesday, January 10th, 7pm – Re-train Your Brain for Success
Robbinsville Public Library, NJ
Phone: 609-259-2150
Saturday, Jan 20th, 10am – Life in Balance – How to De-Stress
The Longboat Key Education Center, FL
Phone: 941-383-8811

 

For more information please visit: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

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Creating the Vision

When you observe your life, you see things for what they are currently
Its where your reality is today
What if you looked at the possibilities?
What if you imagined what could be?
What if you believed in your vision?
What if you could see and feel the vision?
Yes, things are where they are today, but, that doesn’t mean they will be the same tomorrow.
It’s up to you what your future looks like.
Create the vision.
See it, Feel it, Believe it and move towards it.
The vision can be your tomorrow!

For more information please visit my website: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at dlcounseling2014@gmail.com

 

Questions for the best year yet!

2018 Questions For The Best Year Yet!

By: Diane Lang

 

 

Let’s forget the typical New years resolutions. Instead, let’s reflect on our past year and set some goals for 2018.

Let’s make 2018 the best year yet!

1. How was 2017 a success both professionally and personally?

2. What disappointed you in 2017 personally and professionally? What can you learn from these disappointments? What changes can you make? What can you do differently to avoid these disappointments in 2018?

3.What didn’t you accomplish in 2017 that you want to work on in 2018?
Why didn’t you accomplish these goals in 2017? What obstacles did you face?
What could you do differently this year to make sure you accomplish the goals?

4. What are your top 2-3 goals for 2018? What action step could you take for each goal to start moving forward on these goals?
What is the why behind each goal – what will keep you motivated and taking action?

5. What are you personal and professional development goals for 2018? We need to keep developing and growing to stay happy and fresh.

6. Do you have a morning routine for success for 2018? If not, its time to create a routine. Here are a few daily activities you can add to your routine to create a successful, productive, happy day.
Meditation, Exercise, Eating a healthy breakfast, Gratitude, Prayer, Journal Writing- which ones could you add in to start your morning off right?

Make sure to add in self -care activities and fun goals for 2018. We need to make ourselves a priority this year and every year. If we don’t put ourselves first, we can’t be our best self.

Testimonials

Diane’s style is one that illustrates organization & balance. In person or on paper, her philosophies allow the average person to think clearly & visualize harmony even if life adds chaos or stress! The techniques & skills that are given in her workshops are invaluable & “user-friendly” for all!

De-Stress Beth
*******
I took Diane’s course at my local NYC library and instantly became a “convert.” Diane has a way with words. She is so positive and uplifting, and is extremely personable. You can’t help but be drawn to her positive outlook and message. She makes sure that there is something in her talk that everyone can “take away.” No matter how many people are in the room, you feel as if she’s speaking to you alone.
Anne

For more information please visit: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

 

The Power of Acceptance

The Power Of Acceptance:

Sometimes the only power left we have is to accept and let go. When we look at things in our life that are out of our control and there is nothing left we can do to fix it or to change it then we feel powerless. The best thing we can to is to regain our power. To do this, we must first let go of the need to change it or fix it. We must let go of resistance. If we keep resisting the change, we will stay stuck. We will stay in a spot (the gray spot) where we are no longer at the old phase but can’t get to our new start. This area otherwise known as the gray area is a time that most of us will feel stuck and powerless. We can use this area in a few different ways.

1. We can use it as a teachable/learnable moment – what can I learn from my past experience? What changes do I want to make for a smooth transition?
2. We can use it as a time for self-inquiry and reflection – we can take the time to ask questions such as: where do I want to go? What does my new chapter of life look like? What habits/patterns do I keep repeating that no longer serve me?
3. We can stay stuck and in fear- in most cases, if we stay stuck for too long we end up back in our old habits/patterns which leads us to being stagnate. This can also lead to depression.

Instead, it’s time to let go of our past experience and old chapter of life. Look at the clues/signs that are going on in front of you that will help lead in you in the right direction. Follow your intuition to help make better choices. Let go of your resistance and accept where you are at this very moment, this is true acceptance. You have let go and accepted your place for now! I use the word “Now” at the end of the sentence because acceptance does not mean the situation and/or how you are feeling is permanent. It means where you are at this current time. Once, we let go and accept; things can change. Resistance is gone, the power is brought back.

So, when all else fails and you’re feeling completely powerless. Take it back by letting go and accepting where you are so you can move forward.

For more information please visit http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

 

Focus on the good

Focusing On The Good

Every day we hear about the terror in the world, the disasters, etc. It’s easy to get wrapped up in all the negativity but we have a choice on how we see the world. With as much negative there is in the world right now, there is also so much good.

Everyday there are acts of kindness, compassion and love.

The lady at social services who spent her free time working at the food bank, paying it forward and remembering all the help it provided for her and her family during a time of need. All the animal volunteers who work hard to make sure every animal has food, shelter and love. To everyone in the military, police, fireman, etc. who protect us on a daily basis while putting themselves in danger. To all the teachers who are underpaid but go to work everyday because they know how important education is to making this world a better place. To every caretaker who tries to make someone’s day brighter and easier. To all the people who work in careers that are dedicated to helping people everyday and even through all the trauma they see and hear still do it with a smile.

There is so much positivity in the world. Start your day focusing on all the good and it will change your perspective. Spend your day doing random acts of kindness and we can help shift other people’s perspective and make the world a happier place.

It’s impossible to mention everyone’s good acts but I would love to hear about them and share them with my readers. Please send your acts and career choices that make a difference.

 

For more information please visit my website: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

 

How can I challenge myself today?

Your comfort zone is a place where you feel mentally safe and secure. It’s where you follow a routine and schedule that minimizes stress and risktaking. It’s a place we naturally tend to go back to over and over again.

Let’s think about what would happen if we challenged ourselves to feel a little stress and risk by stepping outside the box? I have my clients ask themselves these questions before they start their day:

How can I step outside of my comfort zone today?

How can I challenge myself today?

What small thing can I do today that is outside my norm?

What one thing can I do that makes me feel both a little nervous and a little excited at the same time?

Most of my clients express a feeling in their stomach both of nerves and excitement when they stretch outside their comfort zone. When you feel that little twinge in your stomach, you know you’re stepping outside the box you built for yourself. The box that is very secure and safe. The box where you know what to expect and what you will feel. There will be no surprises there, but that also means no growth. A lot of people talk about feeling stuck. This is common. People feel stuck, stale, and/or stagnate. This means we are not growing and moving forward. We are not challenging ourselves. We need to challenge ourselves and take risks to move forward and grow both professionally and personally. When we are stuck, it’s very hard to be creative and productive, so all areas of our life suffers.

When you start each day remember to ask yourself: How can I challenge myself today?

For more information please visit Diane’s website: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

 

Dealing with Tough Times

Times are tough that’s what we hear from everyone. Unemployment is high, prices are high, Politics, natural disasters are all around us and these are just a few of the stories we see on a daily basis on our TV, on the homepage of our computers, in newspapers and on the radio. How are we to escape all this negativity so we can move forward in our day to day lives?  When things are bad in the world, we still need to have some normalcy so we can sleep at night and keep our kids happy and healthy. I wish I could get rid of all the stress and negativity in the world but I can’t but here are some tips to help you get through your day on a positive note.

1. Stay away from the negative – there is no reason why you have to watch the negativity on the TV, read it in your newspapers, hear it on the radio, etc. Make a conscious choice to limit your negative time. I have learned that it is better to watch the cartoons and kids shows on Disney with my daughter then all the morning programs. Why? Because the morning shows have one positive story to 10 negative ones. I can’t compete with the negative. I’m not saying to ignore the world events but limiting the amount of negativity you get in one day is definitely a healthier choice.

2. Negativity is not just found on your local news programs. Watch the “Toxic” people in your life. Moods/emotions are contagious. If you surround yourself with negative people it will rub off on you. It only takes about 10 minutes for a mood to be passed onto others.

3. Watch the negative self-talk. Try this experiment for a day (Snap to awareness exercise): Wear a rubber band around your wrist and every time you have a negative thought, action or say something negative to others, snap the rubber band. You might be surprised how red your wrist is by the end of the day. When we are feeling negative we tend to over generalize what is going on and one small issue turns into a big issue. We domino affect one problem into many others.

Example: Driving to work on the highway and all of a sudden you hit traffic and you’re stuck. You get upset but instead of just focusing on the traffic, it turns into a negative party. You start insulting the traffic, the car you drive, the other drivers, the weather, the place you were going to, etc.
When you do the “Snap to awareness” exercise with the rubber band, you find out how negative you are. This self-awareness can allow you to slow down the negativity.
Watch the negative words like: Maybe, should, could or would. Replace them with power words like: Choose, Choice, I will, etc.

4. Work on what you can control in your life not what you can’t. Just a quick reminder – we can only change ourselves, we can never control others. If we try to change others, we are setting ourselves up for failure because it’s unrealistic. Make a list of everything in your life you can control then ask yourself- what can I do about it now? Set up goals and action plans. Make sure all goals are realistic and achievable. Take baby steps when making changes.

5. Tough times are real but they are only temporary. Remember that when things are bad. Instead of saying things like: This will never change, this problem seems impossible, etc. Start saying: This issue/situation is only temporary. You’re not a victim. Go back to #4 and work on what you can control. This brings back the power.

6. Tough times are teachable moments. I always tell clients, don’t live in the past, learn from your past. The tough situation your in now will be temporary and then one day will be a teachable moment. Think to yourself what can I learn from this issue? What can I do to not be a victim? I have adult college students tell me I lost my job BUT I’m using this time to further my education or learn a new skill. There is always a positive side to every negative story. Look for the positive

7. Consequences – think of the consequences if you remain negative, stressed out and unbalanced. You will feel the affects emotionally, mentally and physically. Here are some the signs to look for:

Change in eating/sleeping habits
Low energy/fatigue
poor concentration, focus and attention
irritable/mood swings
low immune system
muscle aches and pains
migraines, jaw pain
stomach problems
isolation, depression
Burnout – mental, physical and emotional exhaustion

8. If you feel completely overwhelmed, seek professional help. Remember, you’re not alone; APA reported that 80% of Americans feel stressed out due to the economy. Harvard research says 90% of doctors visits are stress related.

OCTOBER 2017

 

Thursday, October 19, 6:30pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Ocean County College, NJ
Phone: 732-255-0404

Monday, October 23 & 30, 10:30am – Mindfully Happy – Waking Up to Life
Mount Saint Mary College, NY
Phone: 845-565-2076

Monday, October 23, 7pm –  Mindful Living
The Adult School of Westfield, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222

Tuesday, October 24, 6:30pm – The Challenge of Change
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

Wednesday, October 15, 10:30am – The Challenge of Change
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Thursday, October 26, 7pm – Finding Your Passion
Morristown Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

 

As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her two books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness” and “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career.”  Diane has been speaking and empowering parents and adults nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”.  She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet. In addition Lang writes a blog for Pazoo.com