Taking Baby Steps toward Change

Change can be scary but if we break up our goals into small baby steps it takes away the fear, reduces the feelings of stress and being overwhelmed. Action helps us to move forward and not get stuck. Let’s get started in creating the life we want by starting with small baby steps. There are many things in our life we have no control over, if we try to change those things, we will get frustrated. Instead focus on the things you have power over.
All of the areas below are in our control. Start with one of the things listed below. This will start the momentum toward change

What you eat and drink- when you eat, what you eat, avoid GMO and anything that starts with sugar. Drink plenty of water throughout your day.
Exercise routine- if you are just starting an exercise routine, keep it simple and walk. Walk 3-4 times a week for 20 minutes.
Personal and/or professional development- we are happier when we are learning. Take a new class, read a new book, etc.
Sleep hygiene- go to bed around the same time every night and wake up around the same time every morning, keep your room, cool and dark.
Morning routine – our morning routine creates a successful day. Have some rituals that you do every morning that set you up for success such as meditation, healthy breakfast, going for a walk, visualization, gratitude, journal writing, etc.
How I treat others? It’s so important to treat each person with kindness and respect but this also means treating yourself with kindness and respect.
What I say – think before I speak.
Mindfulness- being mindful of your surroundings and your thoughts
Who I spend my time with – moods/emotions are contagious. Spend time with people who lift your moods
How grateful you are- ask yourself what are 2-3 things you are grateful for each day?
Your social media intake- what you watch, Listen to, etc.
Work on you, take baby steps and start to see the positive changes in your life.
MAY 2019 APPEARANCES

Wednesday, May 22, 10:30am – Positive Aging
The Jointure, NJ
Phone: 908-722-1563
June 2019 Coming Soon!

About Diane Lang…

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

For more information visit: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

Mindfulness

Mindfulness
By: Diane Lang

When I first learned about mindfulness, I thought it was meditation. That was just a small part of what living a mindful life is about. Mindfulness is a way of life; a realistic, peaceful way of life. It’s something I have striven for, but couldn’t quite obtain, especially being a “Type A Personality” living in the suburbs of NYC. I thought, How would I ever live a mindful life? It seemed so impossible being a mom, a wife, and working part-time teaching college while running my own business full time. I kept asking myself the question over and over again: Is it possible to live a mindful lifestyle? And even though I wasn’t sure at the time, how I would do this? I somehow knew it was a possibility. So, I went on the journey of finding different ways to add mindfulness into my life and create the life I always wanted, full of peace and happiness.
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is being in the present moment, observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It’s being awake and aware of new possibilities, clues or signs of which direction to follow. Mindfulness is being in the moment to clearly see those signs and clues, and to hear your intuition.
It’s awareness of the present moment and how you are feeling, without judgment. When you’re in a state of awareness, you have the ability to respond with clarity. You can notice if the decisions and choices you are making are coming from a place of love, or fear.
Mindfulness means looking at situations with kindness and compassion, including your own situations. This seems to be the hardest challenge for most.
Benefits of mindfulness
1. The more mindful we are, the more we live in the present moment. We are our happiest when we are in the moment. We worry less about the future, which eases stress.
2. We become aware of our mind-body connection, which allows us to feel where we hold negative emotions in our body. This allows us to use the connection as a warning sign/red flag that something is wrong, which allows us to make changes.
3. We slow down and enjoy life. We start to enjoy the simple things such as a conversation, nature, our friendships, the sunset, etc.
4. We become aware of the beauty that surrounds us and we connect to nature.
5. We become aware that everything is love. We need to give love and receive love in order to be happy.
6. We increase our self-awareness, which can help us become aware of our limiting beliefs and change our negative thinking and behaviors.
7. When we live a mindful life, we realize everything is temporary. So, even when times are tough, we know that shall pass. We can see the big picture and know that everything will be OK. Mindfulness is that reminder when things get tough in life that it will all be OK. We all could use that reminder now and then.
MAY 2019 APPEARANCES

Wednesday, May 15, 7pm – Mindfully Happy – Waking Up to Life
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502

Wednesday, May 22, 10:30am – Positive Aging
The Jointure, NJ
Phone: 908-722-1563

About Diane Lang…

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. To help with awareness, I wanted to give out coping skills to put in your emotional toolbox for days when you need it. These are just some of the tools, there are many more so please feel free to share with me any of your own tools so I can send them out to everyone in the newsletter. Lets share the tools and help spread awareness!

The morning dump – take a few minutes every morning to write out what’s on your mind, what your feeling, what’s stressing you, etc. when writing do it without judgment or grammar/spell check. It’s just a way to dump what is weighing on your mind and causing stress.
1-2-3 technique – a very simple breathing technique to help you reduce stress and nervousness. Breathe in through your nose for a count of three, hold for a count of three and exhale through your mouth for a count of three. It’s very easy to remember. If you do a count of 2or 4 instead, it’s fine just breathe.
Get mindful with a walk – science has proven the best way to get mindfulness is by walking. A nice paced walk will help you clear the clutter from your head and de-stress. We know mindfulness and meditation is the only natural way to de-stress. I always tell my clients to walk because it is easy and free but all exercises are good.
Get grounded by walking through the grass or sand with bare feet, feel nature on your felt while you use your physical senses to calm you. What do you hear? See in Nature? Smell? Touch? For kids: have them lay down in the grass and have them explain what they feel, see, touch, hear, etc.
Talk it out-we all need to get our emotions out. Make sure you have a strong support system. We all need 1or 2 people we trust and love unconditionally. if not a counselor, coach or spiritual advisor can work
Music is a great way to change your mood instantly. Having a stressful day, play some music that makes you feel good.
When we are having a bad day and want to change our mood we can do it through memories/experiences. Sit down and close your eyes. Visualize a happy time in your life, it could be a party, vacation, etc. it doesn’t matter how long ago it was. Your brain can’t tell the difference between a memory that happen last week or twenty years ago. When we visualize and remember a happy time, it brings the happiness to the surface and changes our mood.
Laugh, spoon, cuddle. Hug, smile… they all produce endorphins “ The Happy Chemical”
Chew gum -sugarless of course! Chewing gum improves our moods and memory.
Gratitude -gratitude cultivates mindfulness and happiness while re-training your brain from negative to positive. I have my clients every night before bed do a gratitude check. All you have to do is say or write down 2-3 things your grateful for that happen today. It helps you to see and focus on the good In your day.
Unplug from social media -social media causes FOMO ( fear of missing out). When we scroll through social media we start comparing ourselves to others which can make us feel worse about ourselves.
Watch your night time thinking -whatever your think 15-20 mins before bed affects if we sleep, how we sleep and what mood we wake up in the morning. No news at at night. The News makes us feel sad and fearful. Instead do your gratitude and meditate, they are part of a healthy nightly routine.
MAY 2019 APPEARANCES

Monday, May 13, 10:30am – Mindfully Happy- Waking Up to Life
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 Ext. 2224

Tuesday, May 14, 7pm – Re-train Your Brain for Success
Florham Park, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222

Wednesday, May 15, 7pm – Mindfully Happy – Waking Up to Life
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502

Wednesday, May 22, 10:30am – Positive Aging
The Jointure, NJ
Phone: 908-722-1563

About Diane Lang…

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

 

Creating our own setbacks

Creating Our Own Setbacks
When we think about setbacks, we always think that something happens to us to cause a setback. Maybe we get fired, go off our diet and binge on chocolate cake, etc. Yes, those are setbacks but what if we also caused setbacks by our fear?

The setback could be fear….fear that stops you from taking action, moving forward and keeps you small. Due to fear, you don’t take the risk, don’t take forward action, say no instead of yes, etc.
You subconsciously created the setback so you wouldn’t encounter any of the critics, make mistakes, feel rejection, be vulnerable or risk failure.
Remember you are your own worst critic and can be so harsh that you keep yourself down.
This might feel safe at the time but without risk, growth and change we can’t be happy and successful.

Instead ask yourself
What is the consequence of not trying?
If one year from now nothing has changed in your life…what would your life look like? Feel like?
What would your life look like if you weren’t so scared of failures and mistakes?
Visualize yourself living your best life. Really visualize it in detail and using your physical senses.
We don’t have to let setbacks stop us in our tracks, we can triumph and thrive.

Remember, If you don’t have failures or mistakes, you’re not living.

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

For more information please visit http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at

dlcounseling2014@gmail.com

5 Tips to Managing Stress

We all have times of stress, anxiety, fear, etc. We can’t live a stress free life but we can respond to it in a healthy way. Below are some simple ways to take action and reduce your stress.
5 Tips to Managing Stress
Deep breathe- breathe in for a count of 3, hold for a count of 3 and exhale for a count of 3. This will help relieve your physical symptoms due to stress.
Be mindful of your emotions – are they based on facts or feelings? Ask yourself if their is any truth in why you are upset? Or is based on past fears or wounds you haven’t healed?
You get to choose how you respond- you can’t control other’s actions but you can control how you react or respond to a situation.
Don’t let it escalate- keep breathing. Deal with your emotions immediately, don’t internalize.
Use a coping tool that self-soothes – what works for you? Talking a walk, writing in your journal, yoga, sitting in nature, deep breathing, etc.
APRIL SCHEDULE 2019

Monday, April 22nd, 7pm – Positive Aging
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502

Tuesday, April 23rd, 6:30pm – Turning Setbacks into Advantages
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

Wednesday, April 24th, 7pm – I Am Enough
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Phone: 201-327-2025

Thursday, April 25th, 6pm – Positive Aging
Northampton Community College, Monroe Campus, PA
Phone: 570-369-1881

Monday, April 29th, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Morristown Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

Tuesday, April 30th, 6:30pm – Finding Your Passion
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

About Diane Lang…

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

 

6 tips to Emotional Wellness

After speaking at a retreat all weekend, I really had the chance to listen to some of the biggest issues that we all struggle with. I know I have dealt with holding onto anger, having too much clutter and burning out.
These six tips below can help you to live an emotional healthy life.
1: Always be open- when we are open, we can view situations as opportunities and possibilities. Even mistakes/failures become teachable/learnable moments.

2: You can’t give what you don’t have – don’t try to be everything for everybody. It’s impossible and sets you up for failure. Make yourself a priority. How can you be there for others, if you are burnt out emotionally, physically, mentally and/or spiritually. Making yourself a priority allows you the well being to be there for others.

3: Clear your emotional clutter – become aware of your thoughts. If our thoughts are negative, judgmental and self-critical, you will stay in a state of negativity. Moods/emotions are contagious – is this what you want to pass down to your kids, grand kids, friends, etc.?

4: What am I doing to make this world a better place? You should be living the legacy you want to leave. Ask the question daily: How can I make this world a better place? Your acts of kindness can change the world.

5: Never hold on to anger, blame or resentment, it only hurts you. When we hold on to anger, it affects every choice/decision we make. We don’t want to make decisions based on anger or fear. Forgiveness is a process done for you and you only. It doesn’t justify or excuse anyone’s behavior, it allows you to have the power to move forward. Forgiveness is the best gift you can give yourself whether your angry at yourself, others or both.

6: Are your decisions/choices based on fear or love? When we make decisions based on fear, we allow our decisions to be based on anger, desperation or being impulsive. These decisions usually turn out to be the wrong ones and can cause us more pain. Instead make your decisions/choices from a place of love and clarity.
April 2019 Events and Workshops – Open to the Public

Tuesday, April 9th, 6:30pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

Wednesday, April 10th, 10am – Having Healthy Relationships with Your Adult Kids
Great Horizons, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

Wednesday, April 10th, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502

Thursday, April 11th, 7pm – Turning Setbacks into Advantages
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101

Monday, April 22nd, 7pm – Positive Aging
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502

Tuesday, April 23rd, 6:30pm – Turning Setbacks into Advantages
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

Wednesday, April 24th, 7pm – I Am Enough
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Phone: 201-327-2025

Thursday, April 25th, 6pm – Positive Aging
Northampton Community College, Monroe Campus, PA
Phone: 570-369-1881

Monday, April 29th, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Morristown Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

Tuesday, April 30th, 6:30pm – Finding Your Passion
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

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About Diane Lang…

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

For more information please contact Diane at dlcounseling2014@gmail.com or checkout her website http://www.dlcounseling.com

 

Monthly Commitment to Yourself- April

Continuing on with our monthly commitments, it’s Spring and it’s time to declutter.
When we think of de-cluttering, we think of our homes and office spaces but I want you to start with your basic needs and making sure we are physically healthy.
If we aren’t in good physical health, it affects us emotionally and mentally, so it’s a great place to start.
For one week, I want you to keep a journal of four things: sleep, exercise, diet and water.
I just want you to keep track, don’t make any changes the first week. Don’t make any hard judgments or criticize yourself. This is for information only so we know what changes to make.
At the end of the week, you can see what is missing from your life and which areas need improvement. The following week you can make those improvements by setting goals and actions steps to get there. Make sure to plan for obstacles.

This is what we need:
Sleep – Most of us need 7-8 hours a night. If you are not getting enough sleep, work on your sleep hygiene. Try to go to bed and wake up around the same time each night and morning.
Keep the room cool and dark. White noise helps a lot of my clients. If you have problems falling asleep, meditation is very helpful.

Diet – I tell my clients to watch out for two things – when you eat and what you eat. We should have a snack every 3-4 hours. It can be something small but healthy like cheese and crackers, an apple and peanut/almond butter, etc.
Read your food labels – if the first two ingredients are sugar, fake sugar or any form of sugar, get rid of it!
If you can’t pronounce everything on the label, it’s fake/GMO – try to eat as pure as you can which means more home cooked meals. I know that isn’t always possible so do the best you can.

Water – Try to drink at least 7-8 glasses of water a day. This does not include Caffeinated sodas, tea or coffee. It does include broth, decaffeinated herbal teas like ginger, lemon, etc.

If you find yourself getting tired in the afternoon after lunch, add more water. Slowly sip two full glasses of water after lunch. It will take about two weeks but you will see an increase in your energy.

Exercise – I stick with walking because it’s free, easy and most people can do it but any exercise is good. Exercise produces endorphins (happy chemical) while reducing your stress hormone (cortisol), walking also produces mindfulness.
Its the best way to de-stress with no side effects.
April 2019 Events and Workshops – Open to the Public

Monday, April 1st, 7pm – Positive Aging
Florham Park, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222

Monday, April 1st,10:30am – Brookdale Community College – Positive Aging
Brookdale Community College, NJ
Phone: 732-224-2315

Tuesday, April 2nd, 6:30pm – Re-train Your Brain for Success
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

Thursday, April 4th, 6:30pm – Finding Your Passion
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 Ext. 2224

April 5th- 7th – Women’s Wellness Weekend
YMCA at Camp Bernie, Post Murry, NJ
Phone: 908-832-5315

Tuesday, April 9th, 6:30pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

Wednesday, April 10th, 10am – Having Healthy Relationships with Your Adult Kids
Great Horizons, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

Wednesday, April 10th, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502

Thursday, April 11th, 7pm – Turning Setbacks into Advantages
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101

Monday, April 22nd, 7pm – Positive Aging
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502

Tuesday, April 23rd, 6:30pm – Turning Setbacks into Advantages
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

Wednesday, April 24th, 7pm – I Am Enough
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Phone: 201-327-2025

Thursday, April 25th, 6pm – Positive Aging
Northampton Community College, Monroe Campus, PA
Phone: 570-369-1881

Monday, April 29th, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Morristown Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

Tuesday, April 30th, 6:30pm – Finding Your Passion
Caldwell Continuing Education, NJ
Phone: 973-228-2092

About Diane Lang…

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.