Is old school really so bad?

Is old school really so bad?

I like a world with long deep conversations not a one or two line text
I like face to face interaction
I like hands on learning not watching a video
I like being outside in nature not inside with 5000 friends on social media that I don’t know
I like binging on books using my imagination not binging the latest TV show
I don’t want to follow your life thru an app
I want to hear it first hand
I don’t want to record everything I want to live it in the present moment
I don’t want to live in auto pilot, I want to be conscious and mindful of my actions, behaviors, feelings and patterns
I want connection not likes
I want real food not genetically modified
I want an actual customer service rep not a machine
Not everything should be googled…Our brains are the best computer out there don’t let it go to waste.
Call me old school but it feels more real, more authentic and more interesting

For more information please visit: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

Staying away from the negativity – its contagious!

Staying Away From The Negativity:
By: Diane Lang

Times are tough, that’s what we hear from everyone. Going to college puts us in debt, prices are high, politics, natural disasters are all around us. These are just a few of the stories we see daily on our TV, on our computers, social media pages and hear on the radio. How are we to escape all this negativity so we can move forward in our day to day lives? When things are bad in the world, we still need to have some normalcy so we can sleep at night and keep our ourselves happy and healthy. I wish I could get rid of all the stress and negativity in the world, but I can’t. However, here are some tips to help you get through your day on a positive note.

1. Stay away from the negative – there is no reason why you must watch the negativity on the TV, hear it on the radio, read it on your computers 24 hours a day. We can make a conscious choice to limit our negative media time. I have learned that it is better to watch the cartoons and kids shows on Disney with my daughter then all the morning programs. Why? Because the morning shows have one positive story to 10 negative ones. I can’t compete with the negative. I’m not saying to ignore the world events but limiting the amount of negativity you get in one day is a healthier choice.

2. Negativity is not just found on your local news programs. Watch the “Toxic” people in your life. Moods/emotions are contagious. If you surround yourself with negative people, it will rub off on you. It only takes about 10 minutes for a mood to be passed onto others. If your surrounded by negativity it can make your feel drained, fatigued, stressed and anxious.

3. Watch the negative self-talk. Try this experiment for a day (Snap to awareness exercise): Wear a rubber band around your wrist and every time you have a negative thought, action or say something negative to others, snap the rubber band. You might be surprised how red your wrist is by the end of the day. When we are feeling negative, we tend to catastrophize what is going on and one small issue turns into a big issue. We domino affect one problem into many others.
Example: Driving to work on the highway and suddenly you hit traffic and you’re stuck. You get upset but instead of just focusing on the traffic, it turns into a negativity party. You start insulting the traffic, the car you drive, the other drivers, the weather, the place you were going to, etc.
When you do the “Snap to awareness” exercise with the rubber band, you find out how negative you are. This self-awareness can allow you to slow down the negativity.
Watch the negative words like: Maybe, should, could or would. Replace them with power words like: Choose, Choice, I will, etc.

4. Work on what you can control in your life not what you can’t. Just a quick reminder – we can only change ourselves; we can never control others. If we try to change others, we are setting ourselves up for failure because it’s unrealistic. Make a list of everything in your life you can control then ask yourself- what can I do about it now? Set up goals and action plans. Make sure all goals are realistic and achievable. Make sure the time frame you set up for goals is realistic. Take baby steps when making changes.

5. Tough times are real, but they are only temporary. Remember that when things are bad. Instead of saying things like: This will never change, this problem seems impossible, etc. Start saying: This issue/situation is only temporary. You’re not a victim. Go back to #4 and work on what you can control. This brings back the power.

6. Tough times are teachable moments. I always tell clients, don’t live in the past, learn from your past. The tough situation you’re in now will be temporary and then one day will be a teachable moment. Think to yourself what can I learn from this issue? What can I do to not be a victim? I have adult college students tell me I lost my job but I’m using this time to further my education or learn a new skill. There is always a positive side to every negative story. Look for the positive.

7. Consequences – think of the consequences if you remain negative, stressed out and unbalanced. You will feel the affects emotionally, mentally and physically. Here are some the signs to look for:

Change in eating/sleeping habits
Low energy/fatigue
poor concentration, focus and attention
irritable/mood swings
low immune system
muscle aches and pains
migraines, jaw pain
stomach problems
isolation, depression
Burnout – mental, physical and emotional exhaustion

8. If you feel completely overwhelmed, seek professional help. Remember, you’re not alone; APA reported that 80% of Americans feel stressed out due to the economy. Harvard research says 90% of doctor’s visits are stress related.
July + August 2019 Schedule

Tuesday, July 30th, 6:30pm – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People
The Cedar Grove Public Library, NJ
Workshop is Free but Please Register at 973-239-1447

Wednesday, July 31st, 10:30am – Coping with Change & Transition
The Jointure, NJ
Register at 908-722-1563
——————————————————————-
Monday, August 5th, 10:30am – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Liberty Public Library, NY
Workshop is Free but Please Register at 845-292-6070

Thursday, August 8th, 10:30am – Life after Retirement
Mount Saint Mary College, NY
Register at 845-565-2076

Friday, August 9-11th – Retrain Your Brain for Success & Stress Less, Savor More
Woodloch Spa, PA
Register at 800-966-3562

Wednesday, August 14th, 10:30am – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
The Jointure, NJ
Register at 908-722-1563

Monday, July 19th, 10:30am – Having Healthy Relationships with Your Adult Kids
The Jointure, NJ
Register at 908-722-1563

Thursday, August 22, 1030am – Mindfully Happy – Waking Up to Life
Mount Saint Mary College – Desmond Campus, NY
Register at 845-565-2076

Monday, August 26th – September 23rd – Positive Psychology – Finding your Happiness
Rutgers Lifelong Learning, NJ
Register at http://www.olliru.rutgers.edu or 848-932-6554

About Diane Lang….

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

For more information please visit http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at dlcounseling2014@gmail.com

 

Becoming Unstuck

When we are stuck, it means we are shifting/transitioning and we need to do the work to move forward.
Clients will ask: “What is the work?”
It’s asking yourself the right questions depending on the situation.
Sometimes the question is “What the hell am I doing?”
It’s the wake up and stop everything question and really think about what you are doing at this moment. For most, we’re doing the same thing over and over again on repeat and it’s getting us nowhere and we need that eye opener.
It’s much easier to just ignore that question or not even ask it, but then happiness and change doesn’t come.
When we ask the question, notice what comes up both emotionally and physically. Be conscious of your feelings, thoughts, sensations etc. They are clues of what’s going on within us.
Go deeper.
What feelings comes up? What or who angers me? What or who is making me sad? Hurt? Lonely? What has taken away my joy?
Are these feelings that have come up in similar situations before? Are you seeing a pattern? Is this pattern keeping you stuck?
If one year from now you are still in the same pattern, what will your life look like?
How will you feel? How will it affect the people close to you?
What do you need to do to break the pattern?
Remember, none of this works without complete honesty.
Another quick reminder; sometimes you need to look in the mirror. You can be your own worst enemy.

Do the soul searching. Do the work no matter how painful, it’s the only way to grow and change.
Think differently by getting off of autopilot and being more conscious. Be mindful of your choices and actions.
Stepping outside your comfort zone is a must during this time. You can’t get some place new by doing the same thing over and over again.
JULY 2019 APPEARANCES

Wednesday, July 24th, 10:30am – Emotional Detox- Dealing with Negative People
The Jointure, NJ
Register at 908-722-1563

Thursday, July 25th, 10:30am – Coping with Change & Transition
Mount Saint Mary College – Desmond Campus, NY
Register at 845-565-2076

Tuesday, July 30th, 6:30pm – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People
The Cedar Grove Public Library, NJ
Workshop is Free but Please Register at 973-239-1447

Wednesday, July 31st, 10:30am – Coping with Change & Transition
The Jointure, NJ
Register at 908-722-1563

About Diane Lang…

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

For more information please visit http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at dlcounseling2014@gmail.com

We have Choices

Want to be happier- practice gratitude.
Want to feel at peace- meditate and be mindful.
Want to see a better world – start with you: be kinder.
Want to know more, be an expert- keep learning.
Want to make a difference – do one random acts of kindness everyday.
Want to be healthier- eat cleaner.
Want more love- give love.
Want boosts of the happy chemical endorphins- smile, laugh, hug, cuddle, spoon
Want to love yourself – accept who you are truly at this moment no and’s, if’s or but’s.
Want to move forward in life- take baby steps and never stop.
Want to step out of your comfort zone- take daily risks.
Want growth- make mistakes and learn from them.
Want to be more empathetic – hit rock bottom and see how empathy is truly learned.
Want to stop judging yourself- stop judging others. Everyone has their own path to take.
Want to live your true life and be authentic- be vulnerable.
Want to feel whole- love yourself no matter what.
Want to be abundant- focus on all you have.

For more information please visit http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

 

The Challenge of Change

Most of us fear change. Change is a very intimidating word. When we think of change, we feel the panic going through our bodies.
Fear can stop us in our tracks and cause us to feel frozen and numb. If we continue to feel this way, we will eventually become stale and even depressed.
There is nothing wrong with having some fear in our lives. Fear can be a motivator. It can help us in threatening cases. Fear can shed some light on difficult situations. Fear becomes dangerous when we hold onto it and let it rule our life.

Fear is caused by excessive worrying about the future. Something we have no control over. It is unrealistic to think we can control our future or even know what will happen next but yet we try which sets us up for failure.

To release fear, we need to live in the moment. Your past is already gone. Use your past as a teachable moment. Take your lessons from the past and ask yourself, what did I learn? What could I do different in this type of situation if it arises again? How can I prevent this type of situations to happen again? Then let it go and move forward. Don’t fear the past coming back to haunt you because you learned from it and released it.

Don’t fear the future. We have no control over our future except for planning for it. So, plan away. Set up a 401 for your retirement. Set up a 529 for your kids college futures. Set up savings for a rainy day, etc. Then let it go. Let go of what you cant control. If you have no control over something, then holding onto it just causes stress, anger and fear.

If we live in the past or future we are setting ourselves up for failure but when we live in the moment, we know everything is fine because it is. In the moment all is well.

Fear can be a learned trait if we watched our parents live a fearful life we can follow suit. I had a client who was very fearful of money. Why? Because her parents grew up in the great depression and lived in fear of having no money. They passed that fear down to their kids. At the time it was probably a realistic fear… but today is it? Always ask yourself these questions when feeling fearful:
Is my fear realistic?
Is my fear based on the past or a learned trait?
Is my fear based on excessive worry of the future?
Then ask yourself- what can I do now to change my thought process?

When we take action we release our fear. It brings back our power. Even small baby steps will start the process of releasing fear. Every time we accomplish a goal we get a feeling of positive reinforcement that motivates us to move forward and continue on our journey.
Visualize your life without fear being in charge. What would it look like? How would you feel? What would you do differently? These questions are “wake up” questions for me. Every time I ask myself what would like look like without fear that controls me, I get an “aha moment” because I realize I don’t have to live with fear being in the drivers seat. It’s my choice to carry the fear with me. Happiness is a choice as much as fear. Which do you choose?
When visualizing your life without fear add details, have fun with it. Make a collage, draw your life, etc. Whatever works best for you but visualize. If you can’t see it, you can’t accomplish it.

June 2019 – Events and Workshops – Open to the Public

Tuesday, June 11 & 18, 6pm – Positive Aging
Warren Community College, NJ
Phone: 908 -835-2333

Wednesday, June 19, 10:30am – Mind, Body & Spirit – Finding Your Balance
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 Ext 2224

Saturday, June 29, 12pm – The Happiness Workshop
Long Hill Township Library, NJ
Phone: 908-647-2088

About Diane Lang…

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

For more information please visit: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

Making Kindness your Norm

Let’s make June all about acts of kindness. If everyone did one act of kindness a day, we could change the world and make it a
more positive, kind place to live.
It doesn’t have to be a big act, it could be something small and simple. As long as its done with no intention but to be kind.
This should be a commitment that lasts way beyond June.

The benefits of kindness:
It gives us a boost of confidence
It’s a win-win situation both the person doing the act of kindness and the person receiving it get a boost of happiness.
Acts of kindness are contagious.
Doing acts of kindness reduce depression and improve overall well-being.
They are free, easy to do and won’t change your schedule but can change someone else’s day.
Doing random acts of kindness (even watching someone do an act of kindness) increase our level of the love hormone – oxytocin.

Sample acts of kindness

One of my favorite acts of kindness is a positive psychology exercise – smile at ten people a day. Want to take it up a notch? Say hi!
Give a compliment
Send an act of gratitude by sending an email, hand written letter or text thanking someone for being there for you.
Tell someone you’re close to that you love them.
Hold the door open.
Offer help to someone in need.
Do a favor for someone you love.
Volunteer.
Help a teacher in need- bringing in supplies they need.
If you have a pet – bring your pet to a senior living center and see the smiles emerge.
Leave a love note in your kids lunch box or spouses brief case or pocketbook – ( my husband leaves us notes everyday- he gets the credit for this one)
Write a thank you letter and/or send a gift basket to soldiers.

These are just a few different acts of kindness…Please send your acts of kindness and I can share them.
Let’s all do something kind for someone each day and start making a change in the world.
June 2019 – Events and Workshops – Open to the Public

Monday, June 3, 10:30am – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Mount Saint Mary College – Desmond Campus
Phone: 845-565-2076

Wednesday, June 5, 10:30am – Positive Aging
Mount Saint Mary College – Desmond Campus
Phone: 845-565-2076

Thursday, June 6, 6:30pm – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 Ext. 2224

Saturday, June 8, 4pm – Stress Less, Savor More
Purple OM, Denville, NJ
Phone: 973-343-2848

Tuesday, June 11 & 18, 6pm – Positive Aging
Warren Community College, NJ
Phone: 908 -835-2333

Wednesday, June 19, 10:30am – Mind, Body & Spirit – Finding Your Balance
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 Ext 2224

Saturday, June 29, 12pm – The Happiness Workshop
Long Hill Township Library, NJ
Phone: 908-647-2088

About Diane Lang…

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

For more information please visit http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

Whose Opinions should Matter

Whose Opinions Should Matter?
By: Diane Lang

We do take things personally. It’s the way we are hardwired as humans, so pretending you don’t care won’t be very helpful.
When we say “we don’t care”, it’s a lie that keeps us in more pain. We do care what others think but we need to sift through whose opinions we want to take to heart.
A few questions to ask yourself to find out who opinions should matter.
Why are they giving us their opinions/feedback -did we ask for it? Are they just being critical or judgmental or is there some constructive feedback given with love and caring?
Or is it really about themselves- are they jealous? angry with themselves? fearful?
Is this a person who is important to you? Why?
If you know the person loves you unconditionally and their thoughts are coming from a place of love, then, it should matter but that doesn’t mean you have to follow their advice.
Are these people who criticize and judge also taking risks? Are theses people who play it small and safe but judge you for stepping out? If so, let it go, their opinion isn’t important. It’s much easier to criticize and judge then be a risk taker.
A true risk taker wouldn’t criticize they would be helpful and give advice without judgment. Their goal would be to help you live your best life not destroy it.
Is this a toxic person to begin with? someone who is unhappy? negative? the victim? never responsible for their own actions?
Again, this person doesn’t have the right to criticize and you shouldn’t give them the opportunity or time to do it, walk away, actually run as fast as you can.
Don’t let these people’s words sink into your heart and soul. Leave before it has that chance to bring you down. We have enough of our own judgments and criticisms, we don’t need help from the people who aren’t willing to take their own chances and live their best life.
Ask yourself again why you even spend time with these people? Are you getting anything out of these relationships that is positive? If not, is this relationship worth keeping?
June 2019 – Events and Workshops – Open to the Public

Monday, June 3, 10:30am – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Mount Saint Mary College – Desmond Campus
Phone: 845-565-2076

Wednesday, June 5, 10:30am – Positive Aging
Mount Saint Mary College – Desmond Campus
Phone: 845-565-2076

Thursday, June 6, 6:30pm – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 Ext. 2224

Saturday, June 8, 4pm – Stress Less, Savor More
Purple OM, Denville, NJ
Phone: 973-343-2848

Tuesday, June 11 & 18, 6pm – Positive Aging
Warren Community College, NJ
Phone: 908 -835-2333

Wednesday, June 19, 10:30am – Mind, Body & Spirit – Finding Your Balance
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 Ext 2224

Saturday, June 29, 12pm – The Happiness Workshop
Long Hill Township Library, NJ
Phone: 908-647-2088

About Diane Lang..

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.

For more information please visit: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com