Acceptance & Transformation

Acceptance & Transformation
By: Diane Lang

Acceptance is accepting where you are today. Acceptance means accepting your current situation. It’s dealing with the stuff you can’t change or control. Acceptance is not a pass to give up, remain in denial or just let it go without action.

True acceptance is a form of action and with action comes hope. When we feel hope, we feel motivated to move forward.

Does true acceptance really bring transformation? Most people ask this because acceptance comes with the stereotype of giving up, letting go or walking away. This is not the truth and a myth we need to let go off because with those myths comes the feeling that acceptance is giving up and a sign of weakness.

The truth is acceptance is the foundation for growth and transformation. It’s the beginning of change and none of that includes giving up.
Acceptance is an act of courage and bravery. To accept your life as is and be in that moment for as much time as you need means facing your feelings. Your true feelings come up and we can feel hurt, suffering, anger, fear, helplessness, pain, etc. Acceptance brings the feelings to the surface. Acceptance means you let go of the fight. You let go of the resistance which also means letting go of the stress that comes with the fight.

When we release all that resistance, we become free. With true acceptance, we can finally breathe again. When we release the resistance and all the stress that comes with it, we gain clarity. With clarity we can make decisions based on love instead fear.
Acceptance is just the first step in your transformation.

Five steps to transformation

 

1. Acceptance.
2. Feel the emotions of your life at this moment.
3. Release the stress and resistance. Give up the fight of something you have no control over.
4. Breathe and just stay in the acceptance zone which I call the gray zone. The gray zone is the transition time from your old identity to your new identity. The gray zone is filled with fear and confusion. This is a time when you need to think, analyze and reevaluate your life. Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? What part of your old identity do you want to take with you? What’s your future vision look like? Feel like?
5. Action – this is the time to make a commitment to move into your new identity. Set intrinsic, realistic goals with a realistic time frame

For more information please visit http://www.dlcounseling.com

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The importance of the present moment

The Importance Of The Present Moment:
By: Diane Lang

If we are not in the now, we will find ourselves in the past or the future.
We can get wrapped up in our past baggage. The wounds that haven’t healed, the forgiveness we haven’t given, the mistakes/failures we haven’t learned from, this causes us to question ourselves, doubt ourselves and feel insecure.
When we live in the future, we start creating a story based on our past of what it will look like. Creating the future based on past baggage can cause anticipatory anxiety and choices based on fear.
Neither one of these places is a healthy spot to be in.
Instead, be conscious of each moment. Be mindful of the situation. This takes us off of autopilot. We can think and create based on clarity.
When we are mindful/conscious, we are in the now where everything is ok.
The more time we spend in the now, the happier and less stressed we are.

Four steps to releasing fear

 

Four steps to releasing fear

Identify your fears- You can’t change if you don’t know what you’re afraid of. The first step to releasing fears is being self-aware of what they are.

1. Our fears are based in the past and assuming our past equals our future, that is a myth. We have control over this. We are predicting and assuming a future based on our past which causes anxiety of our future. Start living in the moment. Learn from past but don’t stay there. Use your past a teachable/learnable moment. Ask what you can take away from a past experience – what did you learn? What’s the lesson? How can I change?
2. Challenge your fears – is today’s fear realistic or based on the past? Are you truly fearful of the present situation or just assuming it will turn out like a past experience?
3. Surround yourself with positive people. People’s moods and emotions are contagious – their fear and negativity can rub off on you and drain you.
4. Mindfulness- be mindful of each situation. To be mindful of a situation means to be conscious in the moment, to get off autopilot. To be in the here and now. Mindfulness also helps you to follow intuition and trust yourself which helps reduce fear and stress.

For more information please visit http://www.dlcounseling.com  or email dlcounseling2014@gmail.com

 

Actions steps to reaching your goal

If we just set goals, we usually start off real excited and stay that way for a few weeks and then the excitement starts to fade and it is replaced with frustration.
We have to remember for us to accomplish a goal we need to do some prep work.
So, if you gave up on your New Year resolutions start again with your goals for February but this time make sure you did the prep work first.

1. Before you even make your first move towards accomplishing your goal, make sure you changed your belief. You can’t make a change like lose weight, quit smoking, etc without changing the belief behind it first. If you go on a diet or exercise plan, but still believe you’re overweight and not worthy of better then nothing will change. Even if you lose the weight but not the belief you won’t feel happy. I have had clients who have lost 30-50 pounds but felt like a overweight person trapped in a thin body and struggled to keep the healthy weight and feel good.

2. Change your daily routine – does your routine equal success. We need to have daily habits that make us healthy emotionally and physically. My daily routine consists of:
Gratitude checks
Meditation
Prayers
Walk
What does your daily success routine look like?

3. Support system – are you surrounded by toxic people? Do you have a support system? A few people who cheer you on? We accomplish more when we have support. If you’re surrounded by toxic people, it makes the journey tougher.

4. Are your goals really yours? Make sure what your trying to accomplish is your goal and yours only? Ask yourself why you want to accomplish this goal? What does it mean to you? Does it fit your values system?
We can’t accomplish goals successfully and feel happy if they aren’t our goals so make sure your not accomplishing goals that are your parents, spouse, society’s.

5. Are your goals clearly defined? What do you want? Why? What will it look like when you accomplish it? How will you feel? How will it affect others?

 

 

February 2018 – Workshops – Open to the Public

Tuesday, February 6th, 7pm- Transitioning into HS
Denville Public School District, NJ
http://www.Denville.org

Wednesday, February 7th, 6:30pm- Finding Your Passion
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext. 2224

Monday, February 12th, 10:30am- Finding Your Passion
Mount Saint Mary College, NY
Phone: 845-565-2076

Wednesday, February 21st, 1030am – Mind, Body Spirit-Finding Balance in Your Life
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext. 224

Monday, February 26th, 7pm – Mindfully Happy-Waking up to Life
Bernard’s Township Public Library, NJ
Phone: 908-204-3031

Wednesday, February 28th, 7pm – New Year, New You
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Phone: 201-327-2025

 

As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.

Through her two books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness” and “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career.” Diane has been speaking and empowering parents and adults nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.

As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet. In addition Lang writes a blog for Pazoo.com

 

 

Transitions

 

 

I feel like I’m being torn in two directions.
I feel like I’m walking a line between my old self and the person I’m becoming.
It’s the “Gray” area of transition that is the hardest and the part we don’t talk about.
When leaving parts of your old self behind, you will grieve.
Grieving can cause a roller coaster of emotions.
We can go from sadness, to anger, to shock and confusion even depression.
It’s normal to feel these emotions and important that you really feel them.
Keep feeling until you get to the other side of the pain,
The other side where anger gets replaced with peace,
Where confusion gets replaced with focus and clarity,
Where fear gets replaced with goals and action,
Where sadness gets replaced with hope,
When we get to the other side, the sun starts to shine and we feel a breakthrough.
We can feel the light go on inside of us,
We know we have outgrown the part of us that no longer serves us.
We have released the limiting beliefs and bad habits.
Welcome the next chapter with all of its opportunities and possibilities.

Embrace the new you with love and kindness.

My rules for 2018

My rules for 2018

Strive for excellence but not for perfection.
Take the opportunity every day to tell someone you love them.
Think big, dream big, but appreciate the small things.
Commit yourself to constant improvement both professionally and personally.
Be forgiving of yourself and others, holding onto anger will make you sick.
Say “Thank You” and “Please” often, politeness makes people smile.
Remember other people’s birthdays.
Be the first to smile, say “Hello” and ask how they are.
Look people in the eye, show you are listening.
Avoid negative people, moods and emotions are contagious.
Be there when people need you.
Ask for help.
Never underestimate the power of Love.
Rekindle old friendships.
Keep your promises.
Don’t expect life to be fair, life is a roller coaster ride.
Be grateful everyday, it will shift how you see the world.

What’s your Theme for 2018

My theme and keyword for 2018 is “Freedom”.
Freedom from my inner negative loop that keeps playing on repeat in my head.
Freedom from my addiction to sugar. I will now look at what I eat as part of my self-care.
Freedom from other’s negativity- setting boundaries and limitations from toxic people
Freedom from all the negativity around me – reducing media, both social media and the news.
Freedom from looking for approval from others and instead finding it within myself. Building up my self-worth.
Freedom from perfection and control issues- they are no longer qualities I admire in myself or others instead I will add more patience and kindness to my life.
Freedom from autopilot, it’s time to be more mindful of my thoughts, actions and behaviors. It’s time to live in the moment.

Each year, my resolutions were so surfaced based. This year, I’m looking for lifestyle changes that will bring a better quality of life.
Freedom allows me the inner work I need to be happy and healthy inside and out.

What’s your keyword/theme for 2018?

For more information please visit: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLcounseling2014@gmail.com