8 steps for a happier life


We make happiness harder than it has to be. If we keep trying to find it or searching for it too long, all we will find is frustration. We can choose happiness by making the commitment to ourselves to choose happiness. We need to realize all changes take time and hard work. Are you willing to do the work? If you are you can live a happier life.

1. Accepting and embracing where you are in life – this is your starting point, a foundation.

2. Realize the bottom line is you are WORTHY! Our biggest fear is not being worthy.

3. To make these changes you need to repeat positive thoughts over and over again- remember the negative cycle started the same way. You either heard negative statements about yourself from others repeatedly or you constantly put yourself down; either way we need to break the cycle.

4. Self-compassion- how do you talk to yourself? Are you constantly putting yourself down? What kind of monologue goes on in your head on a daily basis? Start the cycle of self-compassion by being kind to yourself. Remove all the negative words such as I can’t, I won’t, should, could, would, maybe, etc.

5. Each day take a small risk and write it down, keep a journal of all your risks. In your journal ask yourself:

Why did I choose this risk?
How did it make me feel?
Was the risk a success?

Asking yourself these questions will help you knock down the wall of vulnerability and fear. This allows us to see we can make a mistake; recover, grow and learn from it.

6. Be your true self- we need to be our true selves in order to find true connections with others. We have friends that we need to keep a mask on or feel like we walking on egg shells because deep down inside we are afraid that we will not fit in or be accepted. Change this cycle by being the “real” you so you attract the right type of relationships.

7. Remember all negative situations are temporary. Ask yourself, will this situation matter in two weeks or six weeks? Look at the big picture will this situation impact my life is a huge way? Most of the time what we stress out about is not worth the time we put in, we forget about it within a few weeks. Don’t waste your energy or time.

8. All situations can be viewed as good or bad, it’s all about perspective. When things happen that most people would consider “bad”, I choose to look at it as a learning experience. Instead of saying, why me? I say what can I learn from this experience? How will it help me grow to be a better person? What can I change so it won’t happen again? This changes the view. If we change our perspective, we change how we feel.

About Finding your happiness

Diane Lang, practicing therapist, national speaker, educator, and certified positive psychology coach, has her master’s degree in counseling and is an adjunct in psychology at Montclair State University. She has written three books, and has been featured in various publications, and on TV and Internet shows. Diane speaks on various mental and emotional health topics including Happiness, Resiliency, Stress management, Parenting Positive Aging, Anxiety, and Depression in both teens and adults. Diane also specializes in Positive Psychology Positive Education and Positive Parenting. Thousands of individuals have benefited from Diane’s motivational and educational speaking, trainings, and coaching. Her Hands-on approach along with her background, education and experience has proven to be beneficial to all who attend her presentation. To learn more on how you could bring Diane to your organization please email dlcounselingmedia@gmail.com
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