Declutter your life

“Declutter” Your Life:
By: Diane Lang
It’s almost spring (even though we have snow on the ground) and spring is the time we get the craving for  de-cluttering our lives both emotionally and physically. When we have too much clutter in our lives, we become stressed out, overwhelmed, and stagnant.  When people talk about clutter, they talk about clutter at your homes, at work, your closets, etc.
For me, when we have cluttered lives, it means we aren’t living simply. Clutter can affect all parts of your life and if we just lived a simpler lifestyle, we can reduce the clutter and stress and feel more balanced.
Here are some tips on decluttering your life:

1. Make sure to have at least one day each week to just be. I call this: “A day of simplicity”.
Decide what this day will look like. Will it mean a day without technology? A day of play and fun?
A day filled with meditation, conversations, rest and relaxation or all the above? You decide what living simply means to you. For me, it means a day without a watch. No time limits. With no time limits, I feel no pressures. What does your day of simplicity look like?

2. When we have too much clutter, it means we are holding onto past baggage and worrying too much about the future. At night, I have so much clutter that it prevents me from sleeping. I keep thinking: “What I could of done? Should of done? Etc.”
So, from now on, change your thought process.
Use the past as a learning experience  and then, let it go.
Plan for the future. Set up your 401, your 529, etc and then let it go.
Live in the present.

3. Emotional Detox – remove any toxic people from your life and you will naturally remove some clutter. If you can’t remove all of them, then set up boundaries and limitations so you can feel mentally healthy.

4. Gratitude and clutter – I talked about this in # 2, when we try to go to sleep and we have all this emotional clutter in our heads, we have problems sleeping. The best way to reduce clutter at night is through gratitude. Your last five minutes before you fall asleep should be done in gratitude mode. Instead of thinking about the “should have’s”, think about what you already have. Ask yourself the question: What am I grateful for? Then answer it. This will change your perspective. It will reduce your stress and remove the negative clutter and help you sleep peacefully,

5. Remove old habits and thought patterns. If we continue on with negative thoughts and habits, we will always remain in a state of clutter and stress. You can change your old thoughts and  start new habits. It is all possible. Remember, what you think produces your actions. So if you think negative, you will act negative BUT if you think positive thoughts, you will act in a positive manner. How you think is your choice. First become aware of your negative thoughts and comments. Once you realize your negativity, you can change it.

6. Each week make sure to “Stop and smell the flowers, because it is true! We are happiest when we enjoy the simple pleasures. It could be enjoying your morning cup of coffee or a walk out in nature.  When we stop to enjoy the small pleasures we naturally slow down and enjoy life.

7. Declutter your life by spending time in nature. We feel a sense of calm and peace when we are outside. Nature rejuvenates us and gives us a feeling of starting fresh.

8. If you are decluttering your home or work space- be realistic. Start small and take baby steps. Every time you accomplish a goal you will feel a sense of positive reinforcement which will motivate you to move forward.  If you’re decluttering your home, throw away everything you haven’t used in six months or longer. This includes all material things. When we detach from material items it brings a sense of freedom.

MARCH 2017 APPEARANCES:
Monday, March 13, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Basking Ridge Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
Tuesday, March 14, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Roxbury Public Library, NJ
Phone: 973-584-2400
Thursday, March 16, 6pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
NY College, NYC campus
Phone: 516-264-0808 ext 130
Saturday, March 18, 10am – Wellness Expo
Georgian Court University, NJ
Phone: 732-987-2663
Tuesday, March 21, 7pm – Emotional Detox – Removing the Toxic People
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101
Wednesday, March 22, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502
Thursday, March 23- April 6, 6:30pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness – 3 Week Class
Warren Community College, NJ
Phone: 908-835-2333
Monday, March 27, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Westfield Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
Tuesday, March 28, 6pm – Positive Psychology- Finding Your Happiness
Hofstra University, NY
Phone: 516-463-7200
Thursday, March 30, 10am – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People
Great Horizons- Morristown, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063
ABOUT DIANE LANG:
Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.
Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Lang speaks to employees of large companies to help reduce stress in the workplace and speaks to parents about how to create balance and find happiness along with a variety of other health and wellness topics. For Rates or to Book Diane Lang, contact: DLCounseling2014@gmail.com
Diane is also the author of two books: “Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career” and “Creating Balance and Finding Happiness.
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, declutter, development, dream life, emotional declutter, Goals, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, non-credit courses, parenting, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Our fear of mediocrity

Our Fear Of Mediocrity: 
By: Diane Lang
Our fear of being mediocre comes from our fear of never being enough. Our biggest fear is that we are not worthy, not lovable and/or not enough. This fear can come from a variety of places.
A childhood that put these beliefs in place that we never challenged as an adult. Are these beliefs even true? Do they serve you? Are they coming from a reliable, caring source? Are they beliefs that are outdated?
Commercials that tell us we are not pretty, thin or young enough.
Commercials that tell us we don’t have the right hair color or the right clothes.
Commercials that makes us realize we don’t look like the models or celebrities that star in them.
That we don’t have enough money to buy the latest Mercedes, Lexus or BMW.
My social media tells me I don’t have enough friends or social plans. Social media gives me the ability to compare myself to others not just celebrities but my neighbors next door.
The news let’s me know their is a lack of almost everything except for fear. The news let’s me know about all the negativity and fear in the world on a daily basis.

Instead, let’s change this fear of being mediocre and create the life we want.
Shut off the news and social media and let’s live.
Let’s take daily risks where we challenge ourselves to new opportunities, possibilities and people.
Let’s make mistakes and create failures so we can get better, learn from our mistakes and grow.
Let’s choose love instead of fear in our decisions.
Let’s be our authentic self, take off the mask and choosing to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability is a sign of a bravery and courage.
All of the sentences above equal strength, change and growth.
It’s choosing life instead of stagnation and frustration.

Always remember- you’re good enough, you’re lovable and you’re just great being the real you!
 


MARCH 2017 APPEARANCES:
 
Monday, March 6, 7pm – What Kind of Smart Are You? Finding Your Strengths
Westfield Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
Tuesday, March 7, 6pm – Create Balance & Relieve Anxiety
Russell Library, CT
Phone: 860-347-2528
Saturday, March 11, 10am – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
NY College, Long Island campus
Phone: 516-264-0808 ext 130
Sunday, March 12, 2pm – Living a Mindful Life 
Long Hill Public Library, NJ
Phone: 908-647-2088
Monday, March 13, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Basking Ridge Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
Tuesday, March 14, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Roxbury Public Library, NJ
Phone: 973-584-2400
Thursday, March 16, 6pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
NY College, NYC campus
Phone: 516-264-0808 ext 130
Saturday, March 18, 10am – Wellness Expo
Georgian Court University, NJ
Phone: 732-987-2663
Tuesday, March 21, 7pm – Emotional Detox – Removing the Toxic People
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101
Wednesday, March 22, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502
Thursday, March 23- April 6, 6:30pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness – 3 Week Class
Warren Community College, NJ
Phone: 908-835-2333
Monday, March 27, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Westfield Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
Tuesday, March 28, 6pm – Positive Psychology- Finding Your Happiness
Hofstra University, NY
Phone: 516-463-7200
Thursday, March 30, 10am – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People
Great Horizons- Morristown, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063


ABOUT DIANE LANG:
Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.
Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, non-credit courses, parenting, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized, values, volunteer, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life Priorities

Life Priorities: 
By: Diane Lang
I decided to take on the challenge of setting priorities. Setting priorities has been a challenge of mine for a long time. Making a priority list is about simplifying your life and picking and choosing between all the important things you need to get done each and every day. Setting priorities will help you identify what’s most important to you and help you with your time management, organization and balance.
Setting Priorities:

1. Take some time to write in a journal what your life priorities are? These are all the projects/tasks you are trying to accomplish at this moment? Example: being a mom, going back to college, working, friends, marriage, etc. With each thing you write down ask yourself: Why is it important to you and what do you want to accomplish?

2. Now it’s time to prioritize. To pick out what should be a priority and where it fits on you’re priority list ask yourself these questions:

*Is there a time limit? If it needs to be done ASAP, it will work its way to the top of the list.
*Pick 3 priorities you want to really work on and stay focused on those priorities
*Is it just filler/busy stuff? We add filler stuff to our priority list as a procrastination tool. I do this a lot. I put a lot of non-important things on my list, this makes me feel busy but I’m never working on what’s really important to me.
* After each priority ask yourself; what can I do now to get it done? You can write out an action plan if needed.
* If you didn’t accomplish the priorities on your list what would be the consequences? This question will help you decide which priorities are the most important.
 

3. After your priority list is made then set up short and long term goals with an action plan to reach your goals. Make your goals realistic to your lifestyle. Start with small goals. When you take baby steps, your goals seem more doable. You don’t feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Every time you accomplish a goal you will feel positive reinforcement which will motivate you to move on to your next goal.

4. Set priorities with things you can control. We tend to work on things we have no control over which sets us up for failure. Make sure your priorities are attainable and realistic.

5.    Priorities are always changing which is why you need to re-evaluate your
 Priorities and make changes as needed.
6. Self-care- make yourself a priority. We have many roles; we are moms, sisters, wives, friends, caregivers, etc. This is a lot of responsibility. For us to handle all these roles in our lives, we need to be at our healthiest. The best way to do this is to make sure your basic needs are met. Make sure your getting enough sleep (around 8 hours), drink enough water (this does not include coffee, tea and soda), eat properly and get exercise. The best way to see which needs aren’t met is to keep a journal for one week. In this journal keep track of how much water you drink, how much sleep you get, your diet and exercise routine. At the end of the week, you will be able to make the changes your body needs. If your basic needs aren’t met you will be off cognitively and will not be able to make the best decisions or live your best life. You can’t feel balanced and optimistic if you’re not healthy.
 7. Visualize your goals. You have taken the time to write down your goals and
 prioritize your goals now it’s time to visualize them. You can’t achieve your goals, if you can’t see the finished product. Imagine your goals in great detail. See your goals in full color, use your senses, have fun!
8. Control and perfectionism. If you have either of the two traits or both this can lead to depression, isolation, low self-esteem, low productivity and creativity. These traits set you up for failure and undermine your goals. Instead, ask for help and delegate your chores. It’s unrealistic to think we can do it all and perfectly. You will always feel unbalanced if you’re trying to do it all. Example: Order out. It’s okay to have Pizza or Chinese food once in awhile. Yes, it’s important to eat healthy, but it’s also important to give yourself a break. Order that pizza and then enjoy the quality time with your family. Make it a full night of ease and comfort. Use paper plates and paper cups for the night. After dinner, you will have time to relax. WOW! What a concept.

9. Mistakes are good, they are teachable moments. We cant be successful without taking a jump – a leap of faith within ourselves. Mistakes give us a feeling of accomplishment for trying. A sense of strength knowing fear didn’t stop you and the knowledge that we are all human and as many times as we jump is as many times there is a chance that you might fail and/or make a mistake. Mistakes make us aware that we are not perfect. Once we realize we are only human, we can let go of our perfectionist ideas and let the pressure melt away. We don’t have to set ourselves up for failure by expecting perfection or wanting to be perfect all the time. We can actually go enjoy ourselves knowing we aren’t perfect.

10. Learn to say no! One of the biggest reasons we don’t feel balanced and feel overwhelmed is because we say yes when we mean no. Every time we do this we set ourselves up for failure. The minute we say yes, we start the vicious cycle.  First we say yes (but mean no) and we become angry at ourselves for saying yes. During the day we become angry, stressed and nervous that we won’t be able to complete the task we said yes to. After we finally finish the task and it’s all done we start feeling guilty. We feel guilty for getting angry and upset because it all worked itself out. What we need to realize is that every time we do this we become stressed out and unhappy. The best way to handle the problem is to say no. When you say no, you are showing yourself respect and making yourself a priority. Remember, it’s okay to say no.
 
A Few Other Tips:

-Does the way you spend your time match your priority list?

-Are you accomplishing the priorities you set up for yourself or living someone else’s dreams?

-Set priorities that will help with the whole picture. Example: If you’re looking for a job and your top value is family then you want a job that allows you to put your family first.

-Keep reminders around the house, work, etc of your priorities. Example: if you’re trying to lose weight keep a copy of the diet on your refrigerator, at your job, etc. This will help keep you focused.

FEBRUARY 2017:
Monday, Feb 27, 10:30am – Prioritizing Your Life
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Register: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Monday, Feb 27, 7pm – New Year, New You
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Register: 201-327-2025
March 2017:
Wednesday, March 1, 6:30pm – 
Letting Go of Anger & Finding Forgiveness
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224
 
Monday, March 6, 7pm – What Kind of Smart Are You? Finding Your Strengths
Westfield Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
 
Tuesday, March 7, 6pm – Create Balance & Relieve Anxiety
Russell Library, CT
Phone: 860-347-2528
 
Saturday, March 11, 10am – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
NY College, Long Island campus
Phone: 516-264-0808 ext 130
 
Sunday, March 12, 2pm – Living a Mindful Life 
Long Hill Public Library, NJ
Phone: 908-647-2088
 
Monday, March 13, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Basking Ridge Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
 
Tuesday, March 14, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Roxbury Public Library, NJ
Phone: 973-584-2400
 
Thursday, March 16, 6pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
NY College, NYC campus
Phone: 516-264-0808 ext 130
 
Saturday, March 18, 10am – Wellness Expo
Georgian Court University, NJ
Phone: 732-987-2663
 
Tuesday, March 21, 7pm – Emotional Detox – Removing the Toxic People
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101
 
Wednesday, March 22, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502
 
Thursday, March 23- April 6, 6:30pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness – 3 Week Class
Warren Community College, NJ
Phone: 908-835-2333
 
Monday, March 27, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Westfield Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
 
Tuesday, March 28, 6pm – Positive Psychology- Finding Your Happiness
Hofstra University, NY
Phone: 516-463-7200
 
Thursday, March 30, 10am – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People
Great Horizons- Morristown, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063
ABOUT DIANE LANG:
Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.
Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Lang speaks to employees of large companies to help reduce stress in the workplace and speaks to parents about how to create balance and find happiness along with a variety of other health and wellness topics. For Rates or to Book Diane Lang, contact: DLCounseling2014@gmail.com
Diane is also the author of two books: “Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career” and “Creating Balance and Finding Happiness.
Posted in Abundance, adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, growth, happiness, Intention, life coaching, non-credit courses, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, school, self help, self-care, Thoughts, Uncategorized, values, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fighting off the Negative Noise in our heads

Fighting Off The Negative “Noise” In Our Head
By: Diane Lang

All humans have the ability to be on the negative side of things and to focus on the bad experiences. This ability can play a role in our happiness levels, add to our stress and damage our health. Some people are naturally more negative than others depending on our genetics and our childhood experiences. The unfortunate part is women are more likely to focus on the negativity then men and as a woman, I hated hearing this.
The good news is everyone can be happier than they are today and we can relearn new ways of thinking which means we can be more positive.
Here are a few steps to stop the negative noise and become more positive.
1. Stop trying to avoid the negative thoughts. Stop trying to not feel the negative emotions. Don’t tell yourself: I need to stop thinking of this or avoid it completely. Instead let’s feel the negativity, be aware of your negativity and acknowledge it. When you notice the negative thought(s) stay there for a few seconds notice the thought and make a conscious effort to feel the emotions that come with it and how that affects you physically. The first step to stopping it is to be aware, accept and own it.  The key here is to be non-judgmental about your negativity noise. So feel it, accept it and embrace it but don’t judge it. When we judge, we get more upset and stressed. We blame ourselves and start the whole vicious cycle of blame and criticizing ourselves.
2. After you accept and own your negativity, let’s challenge it! (My favorite part).  When a negative experience happens and we hear the negative noise saying: I can’t do anything, I’m such a failure, everything bad happens to me, etc. Challenge it.
Ask yourself: Does one failure or mistake make everything bad? Does it make my whole life bad? Why would one setback mean I’m a complete failure? Is this thought useful to me? These questions can challenge the negative voice to make you realize one bad experience doesn’t mean everything is bad. We tend to over-exaggerate.
 
3. Take action – after you accept, embrace and challenge then take action. Look at the negative situation that just happened and ask what can I do that will make me feel better? That will lead me in the right direction? Give me hope?
Example: If your relationship just ended or you’re going through a divorce and feeling unloved then spend time with people who make you feel loved. Call a friend, make plans to spend time with loved ones.
If your feeling like you’re not doing well in school or work – write down a list of all your accomplishments. Remind yourself of the good. I have my clients at the end of each day end it with saying to themselves 2-3 things that they did well today.
 
4. Meditate and/or deep breathe to calm yourself and your anxiety. When we ruminate over negative experiences we become frustrated, angry and stressed out. To help reduce the anxiety we can take a 5 minute mindfulness break. We can do some deep breathing where we get comfortable in our chairs, close our eyes and deep breathe. We inhale through our nose, hold for a few counts and exhale through our mouths. We do this deep breathing for a few minutes and you will feel the anxiety slowly leave your body.
Remember: When you are having these ruminating negative thoughts ask yourself: Are these thoughts helping me? Or are these thoughts tearing me down? What are the consequences of holding on to the negative thoughts? Is it worth it? Will this experience matter to me in a few days? Weeks? What changes can I make to not repeat this experience again? What lesson can I learn? Is this an old thought/belief that is no longer serving me? When we refuse to allow the thought to have power, we have gotten off autopilot and we are now back in the driver’s seat. 

FEBRUARY 2017 APPEARANCES
 
Tuesday, Feb 21, 6:30pm – New Year, New You
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Register: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Wednesday, Feb 22, 6:30pm – Letting Go of Anger
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Register: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Monday, Feb 27, 10:30am – Prioritizing Your Life
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Register: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Monday, Feb 27, 7pm – New Year, New You
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Register: 201-327-2025
March Events – Open to the Public

ABOUT DIANE LANG:
Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.
Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Lang speaks to employees of large companies to help reduce stress in the workplace and speaks to parents about how to create balance and find happiness along with a variety of other health and wellness topics. For Rates or to Book Diane Lang, contact: DLCounseling2014@gmail.com
Diane is also the author of two books: “Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career” and “Creating Balance and Finding Happiness.
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, growth, happiness, life coaching, love, Meditation, Mindfulness, personal development, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m changing my thoughts

cropped-dianelanglogo61.pngThe other day I made a decision to change my thinking. I decided to follow the law of attraction thought process. What I think is what I become. I have to admit I’m not a huge fan of this but I thought what do I have to lose. If nothing changes, I gained more knowledge but what if it did change? The what if made the opportunity seem more  attractive and gave me some hope.

I decided my daily thought would be “I’m successful and have everything I need”.  A very typical statement I copied from other law of attraction students. The major change this time was I didn’t put a timeline or an expectation on it which I normally do. What I realized the expectation set me up for failure because I wanted to control it and for it to be perfection. That was a recipe for failure and stress. The deadline just added more stress to my already stressed out thought system. Something I couldn’t see before yesterday. Now that I saw, it I was just going to ask to be successful. For this to happen, you need to define what success means to you? What it looks like? It’s an individual thing. After that you say it, visualize it and then move on to your next activity for the day. I did this yesterday with nothing exciting to report.

Today marked the change. After a long crappy day, I found myself sitting at night watching a video on marketing which I never do because I always think I hate marketing, I don’t know what I’m doing, that’s someone else’s job. I have hired other people and have had very limited success probably due to my thoughts. This time I found myself watching a series on marketing and actually understanding it and being excited to try it. It made me think of a book, I have read (kind of) with not much success on the law of attraction. I pulled it out and read two chapters with such great excitement this time. It actually brought this creativity to write in my blog and it gave me some great ideas for a workshop. What this all means, I’m not sure but what I did learn without so much expectation, deadlines and perfectionism,I became open to new possibilities and opportunities which created hope and creativity.

Now I’m excited to see what the next few days, weeks and months bring and I will share the ride with you!

What are your thinking? Is it helping or hurting you?

Posted in Abundance, adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Personal Development workshops in the NYC tri-state area

Hope you can join me at one of my workshops in March that are open to the public. 15 workshops to pick from. Spring is coming and its time to get out and work on you! Living your best life.
1.Wednesday, March 1,630pm – Letting go of anger & finding forgiveness
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224
2.Monday, March 6, 7pm – What kind of smart are you? Finding your strengths
Westfield Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
3.Tuesday, march 7, 6pm – Create balance & relieve anxiety
Russell library, CT
Phone: 860-347-2528
4.Saturday, March 11, 10am – Positive Psychology- Finding your happiness
NY College, Long Island campus
Phone: 516-264-0808 ext 130
5.Sunday, March 12, 2pm – Living a Mindful Life
Long Hill Public Library, NJ
Phone: 908-647-2088
6.Monday, March 13, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding your happiness
Basking Ridge Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
7.Tuesday, March 14, 7pm – Positive Psychology- Finding your happiness
Roxbury Public Library, NJ
Phone: 973-584-2400
8.Thursday, March 16, 6pm – Positive Psychology- Finding your happiness
NY College, NYC campus
Phone: 516-264-0808 ext 130
9.Saturday, March 18 10am – Wellness Expo
Georgian Court University, NJ
Phone: 732-987-2663
10.Tuesday, March 21, 7pm – Emotional Detox – Removing the toxic people
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101
11.Wednesday, March 22, 7pm – Declutter your life & reduce stress
Emerson Community School, NJ
 Phone: 201-262-5502
12.Thursday, March 23- April 6th, 630pm – Positive Psychology- Finding your happiness 3 week class
Warren Community College, NJ
Phone: 908-835-2333
13.Monday, March 27, 7pm – Declutter your life & reduce stress
Westfield Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
14.Tuesday, March 28, 6pm – Positive Psychology- Finding your happiness
Hofstra University, NY
Phone: 516-463-7200
15. Thursday, March 30, 10am – Emotional detox-dealing with negative people
Great Horizons- Morristown, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063
For more information please visit: http://www.dlcounseling.com
Email Diane: DLCounseling2014@gmail.com
Posted in adult education, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, personal development, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, school, self help, self-care, spirituality, toxic people, Uncategorized, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Removing The Toxic From Our Lives:
By: Diane Lang

A lot of us will remain in negative toxic relationships in order to avoid the pain and suffering due to the fear of the unknown and change.
Is the price you pay in staying worth it?

When we avoid feeling the pain, fear and anger we just delay the unavoidable. The misery will rear its ugly head eventually. We need to feel the so called “negative emotions.” I always tell my clients you need “to feel it to heal it”.  There is no way around it. If we avoid feeling it, we stay in resistance which causes more and more stress.
For many, not only do we avoid feeling, but we make ourselves numb with addictions. The addictions give us a way to escape and a protective shield from all who try to hurt us. The sad part is, we are just hurting ourselves more.
Instead we need to embrace the pain and discomfort that comes with feeling. Feeling the hurt, sadness, fear, anger, etc.
– Then we must accept this is our situation at the moment. With acceptance, we lose resistance. When we lose the resistance, we can see our lives with clarity and make decisions based on love and not fear. This is what moves us forward and releases the added stress and stagnant feeling.
– After you feel, accept and start moving forward use that phase in your life to ask yourself:
– What was the lesson?
– How did this make me stronger?
– What am I proud of?  My strength, resiliency, bravery, vulnerability, etc.
– What will I change in my life to stop the pattern?

FEBRUARY APPEARANCES 2017
Thursday, Feb 2, 10:30am – Living a Mindful Life
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Register: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Tuesday, Feb 7, 10:30 – Create Balance & Relieve Anxiety
Mount Saint Mary College, NJ
Register: 845-565-2076

Thursday, Feb 9, 7pm – Positive Psychology
Kareboost Health Center, Somerset,NJ
Register: 732-860-5273

Sunday, Feb 12, 2pm – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People – Free Workshop
Long Hill Public Library, NJ
Register: 908-647-2088

Thursday, Feb 16, 10:30am – Healthy Relationships with Your Adult Children
Mount Saint Mary College, NY
Register: 845-565-2076

Tuesday, Feb 21, 6:30pm – New Year, New You
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Register: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Wednesday, Feb 22, 6:30pm – Letting Go of Anger
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Register: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Monday, Feb 27, 10:30am – Prioritizing Your Life
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Register: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Monday, Feb 27, 7pm – New Year, New You
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Register: 201-327-2025
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Meditation, Mindfulness, non-credit courses, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, toxic people, transitions, Uncategorized, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment