What If? What would change if I lived like today was the most important day of my life and that it could be my last? If I lived today with awareness. Would the snow that was falling matter? Would I let it get to me? Would I worry so much about it? Would I be able to see the beauty of the snow and the pretty picture it creates? What would be different if my intention was to enjoy every moment of today? Would I slow down and appreciate every moment? Would I treat everyone around me as if we were family and connected? If I lived today in the moment would I let go of the past with the just the lesson as the memory? Would I stop trying to control a future that hasn’t been lived yet? Would I see that this moment has so much to offer? How could I make this day the first day of intention and awareness? I could take a deep breathe and just observe without judgment. I could slow down every action I will take.  I could really listen and allow the person I’m with to feel heard and cared for. I could show love, caring and warmth with every interaction. Let’s try to live each day with intention, awareness and less judgment.

Posted in Abundance, adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, non-credit courses, pay it forward, personal development, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, Resolutions, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Feeling through the pain

Feeling Through The Pain:
By: Diane Lang
 

 – There are times that we need to stay in our emotions, even if those emotions are sadness, anger, hurt and/or fear.
– You need to stay there until feel that you can’t take it anymore.
– If we zip through the feelings and the pain, they will come back without the lesson needed.
 -We can’t heal until we feel, really feel it.
 -Spending days in your emotions can really help you to understand what you are feeling, why you are feeling it and healing through it.
 -When I spend a few days (or whatever it takes) in my emotions, a time comes when I have had enough and don’t want to feel that way anymore. It’s a turning point of growth.
-This shift allows me to go from feeling to taking action.
-It allows me to answer, “Why am I here again?”
-“What didn’t I deal with?” “What didn’t I feel?”
-“What changes didn’t I make and need to this time?”
-If it’s a pattern then I can figure out, what changes do I need to make to break it?
-I can’t answer any of these questions or shift my thought process until I have spent the time needed in the pain.

APRIL 2017 APPEARANCES 
 
 
Tuesday, April 18, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502

Wednesday, April 19, 7pm – I Am Enough – Learning to Love Yourself Again
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Phone: 201-327-2025

Thursday, April 20, 6:30pm – Finding Your Passion
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Tuesday, April 25, 7pm – Life after Retirement
Morristown Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

Wednesday, April 26, 7pm – Dealing with Loss
Morristown Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

Thursday, April 27, 10:30am – I Am Enough – Learning to Love Yourself Again
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.
Through her two books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness” and “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career.”  Diane has been speaking and empowering parents and adults nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.
As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”.  She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet. In addition Lang writes a blog for Pazoo.com.
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, emotional declutter, Goals, growth, happiness, life coaching, love, Meditation, Mindfulness, non-credit courses, personal development, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, school, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, values, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Free Summit – Unlocking your child’s potential

The end of another school year is on the horizon. As you reflect on how it went, you may find yourself thinking about the struggles your child faced … and wondering why they occurred, and what you might have done differently to help him or her overcome them.
Whether he struggled socially or academically, you’re worried, right? You aren’t sure how to break through to him, and you’re afraid he might fall behind.
Bottom line: you know you can’t watch him deal with another distressing disagreement, or open another upsetting report card.
Something has to change.
Fortunately, my friend and colleague Alan Vasquez, Academic Life Coach, is passionate about empowering students of all ages with the emotional skills to overcome challenges in school. He’s offering a complimentary online summit, Unlock Your Child’s Potential: Empower Your Student with Emotional Intelligence & Self-Confidence to Overcome Academic and Life Challenges, and you’re invited to attend!
It starts April 14, and you can reserve your spot here:
When you go to the link above and sign up to join us, you’ll see that this summit brings together over 21 experts-including positive parenting experts and coaches, psychologists, emotional intelligence and leadership experts, educators, authors and inspirational speakers, and life and self-confidence coaches-to share our advice about how you can finally connect with your child and positively affect his self-esteem and his academic performance.
The promise: you’ll walk away from this complimentary online event with more tools and takeaways than you could imagine!
You will:
  •      Create peace in your mind and your life about how you’re positively affecting the emotional well-being of your children, so they’re equipped to handle the challenges they face in school and in life, now and as adults.
  •      Discover the secret to inspiring your child in school, so she looks forward to going, WANTS to work hard, and sees the results (and you don’t have to work so hard to keep her feeling positive)!
  •      Know how to raise confident, independent, and emotionally-intelligent children who thrive even in challenging situations.
  •      Develop your own emotional intelligence and self-confidence, so you have the tools and skills to guide your child (and yourself) through challenges.
  •      And more.
In short, you’ll discover, in one place, all the tools and strategies you need to truly support your child’s emotional well-being, which is vital to success in school and life.
Alan is the perfect person to host this summit. Not only does he specialize in providing academic and emotional support to students, but he also struggled with low self-esteem and self-confidence growing up. Without anyone to turn to for emotional support, he always felt like he wasn’t good enough. As an adult, he realizes the important role emotional intelligence plays in lifelong success.
Now, he’s brought together this amazing panel of experts to give YOU the tools you need to best support your student’s emotional growth, because as you know, your child’s well-being starts with you!
Here’s that link again, where you can reserve your spot on Unlock Your Child’s Potential:
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, motherhood, Parent, parenting, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, school, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized, working moms, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are your basic needs met?

Constant Contact


Are Your Basic Needs Met?
By: Diane Lang
I have had many clients who come to me feeling “blah”, low energy, fatigued, and unbalanced. If this is you, then the first place to start is finding out if your basic needs met. We can’t feel happy, healthy and balanced if our basic needs are not met.
I have my clients keep the “Journal of Truth”. This is a journal that they keep for one week. It is similar to keeping a food diary. It’s writing everything down. There are no changes to be made during that week, it’s just keeping track of the four things: Food, Sleep, Diet and Water.
1. Food journal: what did you eat and when? Many of us don’t eat well. We have heard the expression, you are what you eat, and that is true.  Unfortunately, many of us eat foods that are high in sugar, low in nutrition, processed, or low fat/fat free foods that use fake sugars. This type of diet can cause us to feel fatigued, low energy, low concentration levels, and just feel blah, and sluggish. We also need to watch when we eat. If we go too long without food we can feel shaky, irritable, and moody. Changing our diets can change our lives.  Two great tips for decluttering your kitchen and changing your lifestyle:  Read the labels carefully.
●     If the first two ingredients are sugar or fake sugar, it’s time to remove it from the kitchen
●     If you can’t pronounce any of the ingredients on the label, it’s time to remove it from the kitchen.
2. Water: how much water do you drink each day? This does not include coffee, soda, or tea, unless it’s herbal, decaffeinated tea, or broth. Most of us feel fatigued and low energy. This can be due to our lack of water in our diet. I had a client who would feel sluggish around 3 o’clock while at work. She normally would go for a cup of coffee or grab a soda. She would sometimes go to the vending machine for a pick me up snack. I had her exchange all of that for two glasses of water at that time. Within a few weeks, she had more energy in the afternoon without any added calories, sugar, or caffeine. Try it! Add more water to your day, carry around a water bottle with you. Be hydrated and see the changes.
 3. Sleep: How much sleep do you get a night? Most Americans get 4-6 hours of sleep per night when we need around 8 hours. If we go 3 nights with 6 hours or less sleep, it’s like not sleeping for 24 hours cognitively. Our attention span, focus, concentration, moods, and memory are all off.
4. Exercise: Did you exercise today? Exercise is a great way to produce endorphins (the happy chemical) while reducing cortisol (stress hormone). For emotional health, if we walk 4 times a week for 30 minutes, we can get feelings similar to taking an anti-anxiety pill. Any exercise is great. I hit the gym a few times a week, but on those days when I can’t, I wear a pedometer and try to get my 10,000 steps in. A pedometer is a great investment. For $10-20 you can find out how many steps and miles you walked, and how many calories you burned. Just wearing the pedometer motivates me to walk more.
At the end of the week, read through your journal. You can see what is unbalanced in your life and what areas to work on. Then you can make the changes accordingly. When people have their basic needs met, they feel better physically and emotionally. To have total health we must have a healthy mind and body.

APRIL APPEARANCES: 
 
Monday, April 10, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Basking Ridge Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222

Tuesday, April 18, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502

Wednesday, April 19, 7pm – I Am Enough – Learning to Love Yourself Again
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Phone: 201-327-2025

Thursday, April 20, 6:30pm – Finding Your Passion
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

Tuesday, April 25, 7pm – Life after Retirement
Morristown Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

Wednesday, April 26, 7pm – Dealing with Loss
Morristown Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063

Thursday, April 27, 10:30am – I Am Enough – Learning to Love Yourself Again
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, declutter, development, dream life, Goals, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, non-credit courses, parenting, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The bad day

The Bad Day Syndrome:
By: Diane Lang
I hate when it happens, but it seems to come up when I least want it or expect it.
It’s a part of life we all need to expect and accept but yet I dread them each time they come.
The bad days:
The days you look forward to rain, clouds and sad songs.
The days you don’t want to leave your house and want to hide under your sheets all day with something fattening and comforting.
The days that are so long, draining and painful.
I know if I stay in the game of life they will be showing up again and again and it’s just something we all have to learn to accept.
When I have a bad day, I give myself the whole day to feel sorry for myself, to bitch, complain and criticize myself.
Maybe not the healthiest of choices, but one that works for me.
By giving myself the day to be miserable, it allows me to see that I hate feeling miserable and I will do better tomorrow to change that.
Sometimes I need a day to feel sorry for myself in order to hit a mini rock bottom where the only direction is up.
Sometimes I need a bad day to force myself to feel my feelings, become vulnerable and be open to change.
Those bad days are the bridge to my good days.
Allow yourself to have a bad day but just one then it’s time to move forward, take action and smile.
 
 A new day is always a fresh start, what will you do with today?
Posted in Abundance, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, emotional declutter, Goals, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, personal development, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The challenge of change

The Challenge of Change:
By: Diane Lang
Most of  us fear change. Change is a very intimidating word. When we think of change, we feel the panic going through our bodies.
Fear can stop us in our tracks and cause us to feel frozen and numb. If we continue to feel this way, we will eventually become stale and even depressed.
There is nothing wrong with having some fear in our lives. Fear can be a motivator. It can help us in threatening cases. Fear can shed some light on difficult situations. Fear becomes dangerous when we hold onto it and let it rule our life.
Fear is caused by excessive worrying about the future. It is unrealistic to think we can control our future or even know what will happen next but yet we try which sets us up for failure.
To release fear, we need to live in the moment. Your past is already gone. Use your past as a teachable moment. Take your lessons from the past and ask yourself:
What did I learn?
What could I do different in this type of situation if it arises again?
How can I prevent this type of situations to happen again?
Then let it go and move forward. Don’t fear the past coming back to haunt you because you learned from it and released it.
Don’t fear the future. We have no control over our future except for planning for it. So, plan away. Set up a 401 for your retirement. Set up a 529 for your kid’s college and futures. Set up savings for a rainy day, etc. Then let it go.  Let go of what you can’t control. If you have no control over something, then holding onto it just causes stress, anger and fear.
If we live in the past or future, we are setting ourselves up for failure. However, when we live in the moment, we know everything is fine because it is. In the moment all is well.
Fear can be a learned trait if we watched our parents live a fearful life, we can follow suit. I had a client who was very fearful of money. Why? Because her parents grew up in the great depression and lived in fear of having no money. They passed that fear down to their kids. At the time it was probably a realistic fear, but is it a realistic fear today? Always ask yourself these questions when feeling fearful:
Is my fear realistic?
Is my fear based on the past or a learned trait?
Is my fear based on excessive worry of the future?
Then ask yourself: What can I do now to change my thought process?
When we take action, we release our fear. It brings back our power. Even small baby steps will start the process of releasing fear. Every time we accomplish a goal, we get a feeling of positive reinforcement that motivates us to move forward and continue on our journey.
Visualize your life without fear. What would it look like? How would you feel?
 
 What would you do differently? These questions are “wake up” questions for me. Every time I ask myself, “what would life look like without fear?” I get an “aha moment” because I realize I don’t have to live with fear. It’s my choice to carry the fear with me. Happiness is a choice as much as fear is. Which will you choose?
When visualizing your life without fear add details, have fun with it. Make a collage,  draw your life, etc. whatever works best for you but visualize. If you can’t see it, you can’t accomplish it.
Posted in beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, Parent, parenting, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Declutter your life

“Declutter” Your Life:
By: Diane Lang
It’s almost spring (even though we have snow on the ground) and spring is the time we get the craving for  de-cluttering our lives both emotionally and physically. When we have too much clutter in our lives, we become stressed out, overwhelmed, and stagnant.  When people talk about clutter, they talk about clutter at your homes, at work, your closets, etc.
For me, when we have cluttered lives, it means we aren’t living simply. Clutter can affect all parts of your life and if we just lived a simpler lifestyle, we can reduce the clutter and stress and feel more balanced.
Here are some tips on decluttering your life:

1. Make sure to have at least one day each week to just be. I call this: “A day of simplicity”.
Decide what this day will look like. Will it mean a day without technology? A day of play and fun?
A day filled with meditation, conversations, rest and relaxation or all the above? You decide what living simply means to you. For me, it means a day without a watch. No time limits. With no time limits, I feel no pressures. What does your day of simplicity look like?

2. When we have too much clutter, it means we are holding onto past baggage and worrying too much about the future. At night, I have so much clutter that it prevents me from sleeping. I keep thinking: “What I could of done? Should of done? Etc.”
So, from now on, change your thought process.
Use the past as a learning experience  and then, let it go.
Plan for the future. Set up your 401, your 529, etc and then let it go.
Live in the present.

3. Emotional Detox – remove any toxic people from your life and you will naturally remove some clutter. If you can’t remove all of them, then set up boundaries and limitations so you can feel mentally healthy.

4. Gratitude and clutter – I talked about this in # 2, when we try to go to sleep and we have all this emotional clutter in our heads, we have problems sleeping. The best way to reduce clutter at night is through gratitude. Your last five minutes before you fall asleep should be done in gratitude mode. Instead of thinking about the “should have’s”, think about what you already have. Ask yourself the question: What am I grateful for? Then answer it. This will change your perspective. It will reduce your stress and remove the negative clutter and help you sleep peacefully,

5. Remove old habits and thought patterns. If we continue on with negative thoughts and habits, we will always remain in a state of clutter and stress. You can change your old thoughts and  start new habits. It is all possible. Remember, what you think produces your actions. So if you think negative, you will act negative BUT if you think positive thoughts, you will act in a positive manner. How you think is your choice. First become aware of your negative thoughts and comments. Once you realize your negativity, you can change it.

6. Each week make sure to “Stop and smell the flowers, because it is true! We are happiest when we enjoy the simple pleasures. It could be enjoying your morning cup of coffee or a walk out in nature.  When we stop to enjoy the small pleasures we naturally slow down and enjoy life.

7. Declutter your life by spending time in nature. We feel a sense of calm and peace when we are outside. Nature rejuvenates us and gives us a feeling of starting fresh.

8. If you are decluttering your home or work space- be realistic. Start small and take baby steps. Every time you accomplish a goal you will feel a sense of positive reinforcement which will motivate you to move forward.  If you’re decluttering your home, throw away everything you haven’t used in six months or longer. This includes all material things. When we detach from material items it brings a sense of freedom.

MARCH 2017 APPEARANCES:
Monday, March 13, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Basking Ridge Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
Tuesday, March 14, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Roxbury Public Library, NJ
Phone: 973-584-2400
Thursday, March 16, 6pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
NY College, NYC campus
Phone: 516-264-0808 ext 130
Saturday, March 18, 10am – Wellness Expo
Georgian Court University, NJ
Phone: 732-987-2663
Tuesday, March 21, 7pm – Emotional Detox – Removing the Toxic People
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101
Wednesday, March 22, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502
Thursday, March 23- April 6, 6:30pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness – 3 Week Class
Warren Community College, NJ
Phone: 908-835-2333
Monday, March 27, 7pm – Declutter Your Life & Reduce Stress
Westfield Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
Tuesday, March 28, 6pm – Positive Psychology- Finding Your Happiness
Hofstra University, NY
Phone: 516-463-7200
Thursday, March 30, 10am – Emotional Detox – Dealing with Negative People
Great Horizons- Morristown, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063
ABOUT DIANE LANG:
Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.
Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Lang speaks to employees of large companies to help reduce stress in the workplace and speaks to parents about how to create balance and find happiness along with a variety of other health and wellness topics. For Rates or to Book Diane Lang, contact: DLCounseling2014@gmail.com
Diane is also the author of two books: “Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career” and “Creating Balance and Finding Happiness.
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, declutter, development, dream life, emotional declutter, Goals, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, non-credit courses, parenting, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment