Dealing with the holiday blues

The Holiday Blues: 

By: Diane Lang 
 
The holidays are portrayed as a time of joy and love but for some, it’s a time of stress and depression. Believe it or not, the holidays can be one of the most depressing times of the year.  The holiday blues can be triggered by overeating, unrealistic expectations, over drinking, lack of time, seasonal changes, loneliness, conflict with family, etc.
 
Here are some of the signs of the holiday blues:
Stress
Fatigue
Financial stress
Sadness
Loss of interest in socialization and activities that were once pleasurable
Low energy
Change in eating and/or sleep habits
Physical symptoms such as stomach problems, headaches, grinding teeth, etc.

 If you’re starting to notice the holiday blues, here are a few tips to help you find some holiday cheer!

1. Are your expectations for the holiday season realistic?   We look at social media, watch the holiday shows and we set our expectations to match what we are seeing. Instead take the holiday season, one day at a time and just enjoy the present moment.
When we set unrealistic expectations or compare ourselves to others, we end up feeling worse.

 2. Support System: This is the time to keep in touch with loved ones. If you can’t meet in person, spend some time chatting over the phone.

3. Extra Support: If you notice a pattern of the holiday blues then prepare by setting up a professional support system for the holidays. Whether it’s a therapist or life coach, make sure your support system is intact for the holidays.

 4.  Let go of the unimportant things: Don’t worry about the things that really don’t matter like the having all the holiday decorations, the perfect place settings or the perfect gift. Instead remember what’s truly important – connecting to others!

5. Triggers: Prepare for the holiday season by knowing what and who triggers your stress or brings up past baggage. Set up limitations and boundaries that are healthy for you.

 6. Pay it Forward: We feel better when we help others so take some time this holiday season to do random acts of kindness for friends and family members. Volunteering is another way to lift your spirits and others. It’s a win-win!

 7. Schedule: Keep your schedule/routine. When we stay in our routine, we feel a sense of comfort and normalcy. Keep your exercise and meditation routine or any other daily rituals that keep you grounded.

 8. Don’t beat yourself up during this time of year: Actually, try to never do this. For many of us, the dreaded self talk we have is on autopilot. We don’t even notice or pay attention to these negative thoughts. For this holiday season and new year, let’s change that. Be aware of your negative self talk and remind yourself to stop it! When I hear my negative thoughts, I say to myself: Stop! These thoughts do not serve me.

 Happy Holidays!!


DECEMBER 2016:
December 6, 7pm – Create Balance & Relieve Anxiety
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224

December 8, 7pm – Retrain Your Brain for Success
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101

December 18, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502
ABOUT DIANE LANG:
Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.
Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Lang speaks to employees of large companies to help reduce stress in the workplace and speaks to parents about how to create balance and find happiness along with a variety of other health and wellness topics. For rates or to book Diane Lang contact DLcounseling2014@gmail.com
Diane is also the author of two books: “Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career” and “Creating Balance and Finding Happiness.
Posted in Abundance, adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Holiday stress, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Meditation, Mindfulness, New Years, Parent, parenting, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

6 Tips for creating a morning routine

Morning Routine: It sets the tone for the day. How do you want to spend your day?  Create the type of day you want with a great morning routine.
6 Tips For Creating A Morning Routine For Success

1. Wake up and the first thing you do before getting out of bed, try to remember and visualize a great memory and feeling in your life. It can be something small. For instance, remember how you felt yesterday having the best cup of coffee or sitting outside in the sun and how the heat felt good on your body. Sit and reflect on this moment, use your senses, feel it, smell it, hear it. This doesn’t take more then 3-5 minutes.

 2. Match that feeling with an intention. What intention comes out of those feelings and memories. Was it a feeling of peace, excitement, contentment, joy, etc?  Whatever feelings come up for you from that memory let it be your intention.
 For example: I woke up and remembered being outside in Florida on vacation, the with the sun beating down on me and the heat relaxing me. It created a feeling of peace and joy.  My intention was to have a joyful and peaceful day.
 When the intention matches the vision then it’s time to start your day. You have now set up the day for the positive, for success.
 3. If all of that doesn’t leave you with the right feeling, then do a morning dump!
 (Not what you’re thinking, get your head of that gutter!)
Keep a dump journal next to your bed and pull it out and do a full release by writing down whatever you’re feeling and holding onto. Sometimes we need a little release before the intention sets in and that’s ok, some days come with a little more clutter but we have the power to release the clutter and stay in a state of positive intention. So, dump if you need to. You can then rip that piece of paper out of the book and rip it to shreds and release it or  hold on to it, the choice is yours just don’t hold on to the clutter mentally and emotionally.
4. Start the morning with some physical positives. Whether it’s a morning walk, the gym, yoga, meditation, a healthy breakfast, two glasses of water, etc. Make sure we take care of our bodies.

5. Set your goals for the day- write down what goals you need to accomplish during the day and at least one goal that will help you accomplish your long term goal.
6. Smile: Seal your morning routine with a big smile from ear to ear.
 Bonus: In the morning, add in a gratitude check. Say or write 1-2 things I’m grateful for.

All of the tips I give are fun. It might sound like a lot, but you will realize that as  you do them, they will bring joy and serenity into your life, they never feel like a struggle.

NOVEMBER 2016:
Tuesday, November 29, 7pm – Dealing with Negative People
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Wednesday, November 30, 7pm – Stress Less, Savor More
Emerson Community School, NJ


DECEMBER 2016:
December 6, 7pm – Create Balance & Relieve Anxiety
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Thursday, December 8, 7pm – Retrain Your Brain for Success
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101

Monday, December 18, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Emerson Community School, NJ
ABOUT DIANE LANG:
Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.
Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Lang speaks to employees of large companies to help reduce stress in the workplace and speaks to parents about how to create balance and find happiness along with a variety of other health and wellness topics. For rates or to book Diane Lang contact DLcounseling2014@gmail.com
Diane is also the author of two books: “Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, growth, happiness, Intention, life coaching, Meditation, Mindfulness, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, Resolutions, self help, spirituality, transitions, Uncategorized, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

8 ways to De-stress for the Holidays

 

8 Ways to De-Stress During the Holidays

 

Everyone knows that the holidays can be a stressful time of the year. There’s a lot of planning that goes on for family get-togethers, holiday parties, dinners, and even traveling. The conflicts that are bound to arise bring up mixed feelings and can lead to stress and anxiety. However, the holidays can also be a time to reflect on all of the good things you have in your life and enjoy spending time with your close friends and loved ones. If you’re prone to holiday stress once November comes around, try following these eight tips.

Start early

 

One of the best ways to avoid holiday stress is to start planning early! This means making to-do lists, grocery lists, getting a head start on your gift shopping and more. When you wait until the last minute to do these things, that’s when the stress really gets to you. You can avoid all of that by just making a few lists early on and taking time to complete them a few tasks at a time instead of all at once.

 Take care of you

When you’re starting to feel overwhelmed by all of the tasks you have to do and by the idea that you will soon have to spend time entertaining your large, extended family, create some personal time to relax. Make time in your schedule to do whatever it is that makes you happy, whether it’s a day at the spa, snuggling under the covers and reading a good book, or enjoying a glass of wine before bed. Some solitary time is important and it’s good to indulge every once in a while.

Be up front financially

Money is another big factor in holiday stress since most people plan to buy presents for the family, cook dinner for a group, and even host big parties. The holidays are always a tough time financially and you shouldn’t spend money that you don’t have and can’t afford to be spending. If money is tight, create a strict budget for yourself and make sure to stick to it. Consider buying presents only for the kids, doing a Secret Santa /Yankee Swap for the adults, or even use your creativity to make some homemade gifts.

Get some exercise

Getting active and doing some form of exercise does wonders for relieving stress. Even going for a brisk walk for 30 minutes a day can be extremely beneficial. Grab a neighbor or a friend to accompany you so you can talk while you’re on the move and you won’t even realize that what you’re doing is exercising. If possible, get the whole family involved in a family walk so they can all benefit from lower levels of stress.

Ask for help

If you’re the person in the family who is doing all of the planning, all of the cooking, and all of the shopping, you really should consider asking for help. No one can be expected to do so many things at once so learn to delegate tasks to others. Ask family members to each bring a different dish to dinner to relieve some of your cooking duties. Everyone should be doing his or her part to help out, even during clean up.

 Gratitude

 The holidays are really about spending quality time with your friends and family. It’s not about the presents, or the food, or the parties. We should feel grateful and happy for our health and for being surrounded by loved ones. These are lessons to pass on to your children and teach them to appreciate all of the little things in life that make us happy.

Watch the signs

Listen to your body. If you are noticing any of the following signs then it’s time to make changes:

 

  • Change in sleeping habits
  • Change in eating habits
  • Feeling irritable, moody and unhappy
  • Exhaustion and fatigue
  • Panic attack symptoms like dizziness, heavy chest, heart racing, headache, feeling nauseous, hot and cold flashes
  • Physical signs such as headaches, stomachaches, joint pain and low immune system – catching frequent colds and illnesses.

 

These symptoms are all warning signs of too much stress and anxiety in our life. This is a sign to slow down and take a time out.

Pay it forward

 

For the holidays join a local charity and help with serving dinners, dropping off presents and giving hugs. Every time we do a random act of kindness we help others while helping ourselves. Random acts of kindness give a boost of happiness that lasts 24-72 hours. Spread the joy!

 

Diane Lang, MA
Counselor Educator and Certified Life Coach
For more information please visit: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

 

Posted in Abundance, adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Holiday stress, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, Parent, parenting, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, therapy, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Our natural setting

Let’s think about when we were born and our early childhood. Our natural setting at those times of life: I can do anything I want,  Life is good, I love life.

When did that setting change? Think about when it shifted to nothing works for me? Life sucks? Does it ever get better then this? I’m such a failure? Etc.  I can remember for me, it shifted  in my late childhood. It changed, when I felt neglect and was told often that I was stupid. This shifted my setting rather quickly. Do you remember when it shifted for you? Why it shifted?

The good news is this isn’t our natural setting. Our natural state is to realize, we can do anything we put our minds to and take action on. When we are in our present moment without judgment, we hear our inner voice shift to life is good and anything is possible. But then something causes our setting to change and we fall back into the negative perspective we were taught. Our triggers can be rejection, conflict, past baggage resurfacing, physical injury or illness.

Take some time to realize, it’s not our natural setting. Our natural setting is positive, it’s filled with hope and happiness. Every time, we have those thoughts or we hear we can’t do it. Shut off that setting and take a moment to find your core and go back to our natural state of truth: you can do anything and life is great!

 

Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Joy, life coaching, Mindfulness, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, spirituality, transitions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Living your truth

I hear this  sentence so many times in my head. I so want to live my truth but yet I find myself having a hard time with my truth. This is normal and expected. I know I’m not alone we all have a past that has caused pain, sadness, hurt, anger and fear.  This gives me comfort and strength to live my truth. My truth/story is the reason behind my empathetic nature.

My truth isn’t always pretty. I sometimes wish my story/truth could be changed but then I realize that my truth/story has led to who I am today. When I look at the big picture of my life, I can see the purpose for my pain. The lessons my pain has taught me. The direction that my pain led me to. Without my story/truth, I would never be who I am today. I’m blessed by my story while being haunted by it at the same time.

Living my truth allows me the freedom to be me, to not hide behind my false self. It allows me to be vulnerable knowing that I have made it through all the pain and suffering.  Living my truth has led me to a place where my story can help others heal.

Are you living your truth? If not, what’s stopping you?  Don’t let fear be what guides you.

Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, growth, happiness, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, pay it forward, personal development, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, spirituality, therapy, transitions, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dealing With Tough Times:
By: Diane Lang

“Times are tough!”, that’s what we hear from everyone. Unemployment is high, prices are high, the presidential campaign , natural disasters are all around us. These are just a few of the stories we see on a daily basis on our TV, on the homepage of our computers, in newspapers and on the radio. How are we to escape all this negativity so we can move forward in our day to day lives?  When things are bad in the world, we still need to have some normalcy. That way, we can sleep at night and keep our kids happy and healthy. I wish I could get rid of all the stress and negativity in the world but I can’t. However, here are some tips to help you get through your day on a positive note.
1. Stay away from the negative – there is no reason why you have to watch the negativity on the TV, read it in your newspapers, hear it on the radio, etc. Make a conscious choice to limit your negative time. I have learned that it is better to watch the cartoons and kids shows on Disney with my daughter then all the morning programs. Why? Because the morning shows have one positive story to ten negative ones. I can’t compete with the negative. I’m not saying to ignore the world events, but limiting the amount of negativity you get in one day is definitely a healthier choice.
2. Negativity is not just found on your local news programs. Watch the “Toxic” people in your life. Moods/emotions are contagious. If you surround yourself with negative people, it will rub off on you. It only takes about 10 minutes for a mood to be passed onto others.
3. Watch the negative self-talk. Try this experiment for a day: (Snap to awareness exercise): Wear a rubber band around your wrist and every time you have a negative thought, action or say something negative to others, snap the rubber band. You might be surprised how red your wrist is by the end of the day. When we are feeling negative, we tend to over generalize what is going on and one small issue turns into a big issue. We domino affect one problem into many others.
Example: Driving to work on the highway and all of a sudden you hit traffic and you’re stuck. You get upset but instead of just focusing on the traffic, it turns into a negative party. You start insulting the traffic, the car you drive, the other drivers, the weather, the place you were going to, etc.
When you do the “Snap to awareness” exercise with the rubber band, you find out how negative you are. This self-awareness can allow you to slow down the negativity.
Watch the negative words like: Maybe, should, could or would. Replace them with power words like: Choose, Choice, I will, etc.
4. Work on what you can control in your life not what you can’t. Just a quick reminder – we can only change ourselves, we can never control others. If we try to change others, we are setting ourselves up for failure because it’s unrealistic. Make a list of everything in your life you can control then ask yourself- what can I do about it now? Set up goals and action plans. Make sure all goals are realistic and achievable. Take baby steps when making changes.
5. Tough times are real but they are only temporary. Remember that when things are bad. Instead of saying things like: This will never change, this problem seems impossible, etc. Start saying: This issue/situation is only temporary. You’re not a victim. Go back to #4 and work on what you can control. This brings back the power.
6. Tough times are teachable moments. I always tell clients, don’t live in the past, learn from your past. The tough situation your in now will be temporary and then one day will be a teachable moment. Think to yourself what can I learn from this issue? What can I do to not be a victim? I have adult college students tell me I lost my job BUT I’m using this time to further my education or learn a new skill. There is always a positive side to every negative story. Look for the positive.
7. Consequences – think of the consequences if you remain negative, stressed out and unbalanced. You will feel the affects emotionally, mentally and physically. Here are some the signs to look for:
 
Change in eating/sleeping habits
Low energy/fatigue
poor concentration, focus and attention
irritable/mood swings
low immune system
muscle aches and pains
migraines, jaw pain
stomach problems
isolation, depression
Burnout – mental, physical and emotional exhaustion
8. If you feel completely overwhelmed, seek professional help. Remember, you’re not alone; APA reported that 80% of Americans feel stressed out due to the economy. Harvard research says 90% of doctors visits are stress related.
 
 
For more information please visit Diane’s website at: http://www.dlcounseling.com or e-mail Diane at Lifeline36@aol.com

November 2016
Wednesday, November 8, 630pm – Letting Go of Anger
Hofstra University, NY
Phone: 516-463-7200
Monday, November 14, 7pm – Retrain Your Brain for Success
Morris Hills Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-664-2295
Tuesday, November 15, 7pm – Dealing with Negative People
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Phone: 201-327-2025
Wednesday, November 16, 1pm – Happiness
Montville Pueblos Library, NJ
Phone: 973-402-0900 ext 222
Thursday, November 17, 7pm – Dealing with Negative People
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101
Monday, November 21, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Westfield Adult School, NJ
Phone:973–443-9222
Tuesday, November 29, 7pm – Dealing with Negative People
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224
Wednesday, November 30, 7pm – Stress Less, Savor More
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, life coaching, Parent, parenting, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, therapy, Uncategorized, workshops | Leave a comment

True Acceptance & Transformation

True Acceptance And Transformation:
By: Diane Lang
 
Acceptance is accepting where you are today. Acceptance means accepting your current situation with the key word “current”, which means tomorrow is unknown.
It’s dealing with the stuff you can’t change and control. Acceptance is not a pass to give up, remain in denial and just let it go without action. True acceptance is a form of action and with action comes hope. When we feel hope, we feel motivated to move forward.

Does true acceptance really bring transformation? Most people ask this because acceptance comes with the stereotype of giving up, letting go or walking away. This is not the truth and a myth we need to let go off because with those myths comes the feeling that acceptance is giving up and a sign of weakness.
The truth is acceptance is the foundation for growth and transformation. It’s the beginning of change and none of that includes giving up. Acceptance is actually a form of courage and bravery. To actual accept your life as is and be in that moment for as much time as you need means your feeling. You feel what the situation is which can be hurt, suffering, anger, fear, helplessness, pain, etc.
Acceptance brings the feelings to the surface and from there we can let go of the fight, let go of the resistance which also means letting go of the stress that comes with the fight. When we release all that resistance, we become free. This doesn’t happen overnight. Acceptance is just the first step in your transformation.

Five steps to Accept and Transform:

 1. Accept where you are currently
 2. Feel the emotions of your life at this moment.
 3. Release the stress and resistance. Give up the fight of something you have no control over.
 4. Breathe and just stay in the acceptance zone which I call the gray zone. The gray zone is the transition time from your old identity to your new identity. The gray zone is filled with fear and confusion. This is a time when you need to think, analyze and reevaluate your life. Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be. What part of your old identity do you want to take with you? What’s your future vision look like? Feel like?
5. Action – this is the time to make the commitment to move into your new identity.
Set intrinsic, realistic goals with a realistic time frame.

NOVEMBER 2016:
 
Tuesday, November 1, 7pm – 
Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502
Wednesday, November 2, 7pm – Life after Retirement
Morristown Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063 ext 8315
Thursday, November 3 through November 17, 1pm – Emotional Wellness Series
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224
Thursday, November 3, 7pm – Positive Psychology – Finding Your Happiness
Lake Hiawatha Library, NJ
Phone: 973-335-0952
Wednesday, November 8, 630pm – Letting Go of Anger
Hofstra University, NY
Phone: 516-463-7200
Monday, November 14, 7pm – Retrain Your Brain for Success
Morris Hills Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-664-2295
Tuesday, November 15, 7pm – Dealing with Negative People
Ramsey Adult School, NJ
Phone: 201-327-2025
Wednesday, November 16, 1pm – Happiness
Montville Pueblos Library, NJ
Phone: 973-402-0900 ext 222
Thursday, November 17, 7pm – Dealing with Negative People
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101
Monday, November 21, 7pm – Living a Mindful Life
Westfield Adult School, NJ
Phone:973–443-9222
Tuesday, November 29, 7pm – Dealing with Negative People
Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 ext 2224
Wednesday, November 30, 7pm – Stress Less, Savor More
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502


ABOUT DIANE LANG:
Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert, life coach and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct at Montclair State University.
Lang has been interviewed for numerous magazine and newspaper articles and has been a frequent guest on radio and TV shows including “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Network. Lang a regular featured expert on the “Expat Show” broadcasted weekly on the New York ABC affiliate WTBQ-AM, and a Blogger.

Lang speaks to employees of large companies to help reduce stress in the workplace and speaks to parents about how to create balance and find happiness along with a variety of other health and wellness topics. For rates or to book Diane Lang contact DLcounseling2014@gmail.com
Diane is also the author of two books: “Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career” and “Creating Balance and Finding Happiness
Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, development, dream life, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, life coaching, Mindfulness, motherhood, non-credit courses, Parent, parenting, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, pro-active, psychology, self help, spirituality, therapy, Uncategorized, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment