Turning Setbacks into Triumphs

 

Turning Setbacks Into Triumphs
By: Diane Lang

1. Look at both the bad and good side of every situation. Some situations are so bad, we can’t see the good till years later, but we can always look at bad situations as learnable/teachable moments. What did you learn from the situation? What changes can you make? How did it make you grow? How did it make you a better person?
2. Also look at the big picture. It might be bad now but what will the big picture bring you. My illness was horrible, but it caused me to make so many changes. These were changes that I had to make but as much as they were hard to do, I knew they would make my life better in the long run, if I just looked at the big picture. Another way to view the big picture, is look at the rest of your life. Don’t stay stuck on the one area that isn’t going well. Look at the rest of your life. Maybe, you’re in the middle of a break up and that is keeping you down and feeling like a failure. Spend time looking at the rest of your life. Is your health good? Kids healthy? Good job? Good friendships? Family, etc.? Life is more than just one failure.
3. View your setback as an opportunity for growth and change. Cultivate a growth mindset where you realize there is value in failure. Failure is an opportunity for growth, to learn, to rise to a challenge and grow your resiliency muscles. Don’t let failures define you, instead use it as a positive motivator to spur you into taking action.
4. Visualize a better future. Instead of staying in your current circumstances and dwelling over the negative start dreaming and visualizing a better future. Visualize how things could turn around. Look at your life as if you turned the situation into a positive. Visualize the change you want to see
5. Use your failure or bad situation to connect with others. We all love the underdog story. We also like to feel we are not alone. We connect to others who have been through rock bottom. Use it to teach others, connect and empathize. Some make it a career or use it in volunteer positions.
6. Take advice, accept help and don’t make any other changes while in a traumatic or life changing moment.
7. Accept where you are. True acceptance allows you to release the resistance/stress that comes from trying to control or change something you can’t. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or giving in, it means accepting where you are at this moment, so you can release the stress, breathe and see life with clarity. We don’t want to react with desperation, fear or impulsivity.
8. Change is the only constant. So right now, Life is tough but remember it is only temporary.
9. Don’t get stuck in the problem or the failure. Instead problem solve, look to set goals and take actions to move forward. Feel the emotion that comes from the setback but don’t stay there, figure out ways to move forward. Action always helps us to feel hope. Don’t get stuck in a vicious cycle of doing the same thing that never worked to begin with.
10. There is power in rock bottom – rock bottom is the place where we can grow and take action. Rock bottom teaches us empathy. Don’t fear rock bottom, it might be just what you need to get up and start over again. It takes away our fear and allows us to take risks. It forces us out of our comfort zone.

Building Resiliency
1. Always praise yourself or others for the effort they are making. This allows you and others to see the role you play in all your successes. We all have control of how much effort we put into something.
2. Be intentional about the people you spend your time with. Create a positive environment with people who have a positive mindset. Moods and emotions are contagious surround yourself with the emotions you want to catch.
3. Be flexible in your thinking – see problems as opportunities. Even if the opportunity is growth and learning, you will still get value out of your problems/failures.
4. Be self-aware of your own thinking. How do you talk to yourself? How do you treat yourself? Are you constantly self-criticizing? You must change your own mindset from negative to positive.
5. Positive affirmations – remind yourself daily of who you are and where you want to be. I remind myself daily that” I’m abundant”.
6. Face your fears – change is the only constant which I have said before but is so important to repeat. You will always deal with change and transitions. Face them, feel your emotions and take action to move forward by challenging yourself daily with small risks. If you know what scares you currently then take small baby steps to expose yourself to the fear slowly and in small doses
7. Feel your fears with self-compassion – be conscious of what your feeling/fearing but without judgement. Remember, you’re not alone, many others have the same fears as you do. Show yourself some empathy and kindness. Compliment yourself for your effort of facing your fears by being self-aware of what they are and making a commitment to face them.
8. Can/Can’t control – certain goals are no longer attainable. Accepting things, you can’t change, leaves room for you to work on the things you can change.
9. Remind yourself of past situations/trauma’s you have made it through. Remind yourself how you did it? Did you make changes? Did you accept your situation? Did you problem solve? Set goals with actionable steps? Did you write it out? Etc.
10. Set realistic goals – if we set unattainable goals, we set ourselves up for failure.
11. Re-train your brain to positive by asking yourself every evening – what are 2-3 things I did well today? Really dive in and write down what you did well and how you did it? You can even write down, how you felt after each good thing.
12. Turn a negative situation into a sense of purpose. Ask yourself: What is useful from this situation that I can use to transform my life or others? What are my choices after this situation that can lead me into positive change? Why is this situation important to my transition? How will I use my knowledge gained from my problem/failure to better my life or not make the same mistake again? Even though the situation might be negative, what positive aspects can I identify? How will this mistake/failure allow me to help others?

Take Summer classes from the comfort of your own home.

If your interested in taking any of my classes this summer but cant make it to a class, This is your opportunity to learn from home. All you need to do is pick the class and contact me at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com and we can set up a time/date to have your own personalized class from home.

Class offerings:
Turning Setbacks into Advantages
Mind, Body & Soul – Finding balance in your life
Mindfully Happy- Waking up to life
Living a Mindful Life
Emotional Detox – Dealing with toxic people
Positive Psychology – Finding your happiness
Letting go of anger & finding forgiveness
Stress Less, Savor More- ways to manage stress
Declutter your life & reduce stress

Take one class or take a few, all classes will be from the comfort of your own home on a date/time that works for you. Take a class from the beach, all you need is a computer and/or phone!

Email me for more information: DLCounseling2014@gmail.com
One time Consultations are available

 

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Posted in Abundance, adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, cultivate happiness, development, dream life, emotional declutter, empathy, fear, Goals, Gratitude, grief, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Meditation, Mindfulness, non-credit courses, parenting, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Take Summer classes from home!

 

Take Summer classes from the comfort of your own home.

If you’re interested in taking any of my classes this summer but can’t make it to a class, this is your opportunity to learn from home. All you need to do is pick the class and contact me at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com and we can set up a time/date to have your own personalized class from home.

Class offerings:
Turning Setbacks into Advantages
Mind, Body & Soul – Finding balance in your life
Mindfully Happy- Waking up to life
Living a Mindful Life
Emotional Detox – Dealing with toxic people
Positive Psychology – Finding your happiness
Letting Go of Anger & Finding Forgiveness
Stress Less, Savor More- Ways to manage stress
Declutter your Life & Reduce Stress

Take one class or take a few. All classes will be from the comfort of your own home on a date/time that works for you. Take a class from the beach; all you need is a computer and/or phone!

Email me for more information: DLCounseling2014@gmail.com
One time Consultations are available

Posted in Abundance, adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, cultivate happiness, declutter, development, dream life, emotional declutter, fear, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Intention, life coaching, love, Meditation, Mindfulness, motherhood, non-credit courses, Parent, parenting, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, school, self help, self-care, spirituality, Thoughts, toxic people, transitions, Uncategorized, values, workshops | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

11 ways to practice self care daily

11 Ways To Practice Self-Care Daily
By: Diane Lang

Self-care is care provided “for you, by you.” It’s about identifying your own needs and taking steps to meet them. It is taking the time to do some of the activities that nurture you. Self-care is about taking proper care of yourself and treating yourself as kindly as you treat others. Self-care is so important, but we seem to put it on the bottom of our priority list. We need to put it on the top of our priority list.

Why take care of yourself first?
You can’t give what you don’t have. Everyone benefits from your self-care. When you feel good emotionally, physically and spiritually, you can be there for others. If not, you run on empty and becomes stressed out, overwhelmed and can burn out.
Mood and emotions are contagious. If your unhappy, it affects others. What do you want to spread to your kids? We teach through actions.
Women who neglect their own needs and forget to nurture themselves often become unhappy, have low self-esteem and feel resentment.
· Remember self-care doesn’t equal selfish
11 ways to practice self-care
1. Are your basic needs met? This is a great place to start. We need a strong physical foundation. Make sure your diet is good, sleeping well, plenty of water and exercise.
2. How do you define happiness? What does it look like? Feel like? Write a list of the top 5-10 things that cultivate happiness for you. Does your life match your list?
3. Gratitude – spending time in gratitude helps us to re-train our brains to go from negative to positive. Ask yourself everyday: What are 2-3 things your grateful for today?
4. Step outside of your comfort zone – when we stay in our comfort zone, we don’t take risks, try new things and we can become stagnate. We need growth to be happy.
5. Flow – add in activities that cause flow. Flow create mindfulness and cultivate happiness.
6. Pay it forward – it’s a win-win. Every time you do an act of kindness, you get a boost of happiness and so does the person you did it for.
7. Unplug and do something for you! Take this time to re-fuel.
8. Learn to say “No”.
9. Ask for help
10. Socialization – connect with others. Socialization is the # 1 factor of happiness.
This includes: Community, Fun/play and Support.
11. Journal write – this is a mindfulness exercise. Take 10 minutes a day to free write. Write without judgment.

 

For more information please visit Diane’s website: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email DLcounseling2014@gmail.com

 

Posted in Abundance, adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, cultivate happiness, declutter, development, dream life, emotional declutter, empathy, fear, Goals, Gratitude, grief, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, parenting, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized, values, working moms | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Its ok to be miserable

It’s okay to be miserable.
If that’s where you are, then embrace it.
Know that it’s not a permanent place.
The only constant is change.
So, where you are today doesn’t mean it’s where you will be tomorrow.
It’s just the place your at currently.
Don’t try to hide it or run away from it.
It’s only going to delay it.
The emotions need to be felt.
The tears need to be cried.
The anger needs to be vented out.
The hurt needs to be healed.
So, if you are feeling miserable, don’t fight it.
Just be in this place.
Feel it and let life flow.
You will be someplace else soon.

6 Ways To Feel Your Painful Feelings:

1. State the facts without judgement – Feel your feelings but don’t judge them. Just look at the facts. If you don’t know why you feel a certain way, that’s ok. Just state the facts such as: I feel hurt but I ‘m not sure why?

2. There is no right or wrong – whatever your feeling is fine. Don’t try to change or justify your feelings. Be honest with yourself, you can’t work through feelings if your lying to yourself or avoiding feeling them.

3. There is no negative feelings. We classify certain feelings as “negative” but the truth is your human and all feelings are normal. We need to feel the anger, hurt, sadness, loneliness, etc. to heal.

4. Don’t criticize your feelings – we are our own worst critics and we can make our situations worse by criticizing what we are feeling. This keeps us in a negative cycle.

5. “Why” – try to figure out why your feeling the way you are? The why helps us understand where the emotions are coming from. Are we really upset over something that happened today or is it triggering other past hurts? Is it hitting a nerve?

6. Feel to Heal – most importantly, feel your emotions. Feeling the pain, anger, etc. might cause you to cry, scream, punch your pillow, etc. We cant get through the pain if we don’t feel.

 

For more information please visit: dlcounseling.com or email DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

Posted in adult education, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, cultivate happiness, development, dream life, emotional declutter, empathy, fear, Goals, grief, growth, happiness, Intention, life coaching, love, Meditation, Mindfulness, personal development, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why be Happy?

Why Be Happy?
By: Diane Lang

Why be Happy?

A few weeks ago, at one of my speaking events, I was asked “Why should I be happy? Why is that so important?”
In all my years of teaching, I have never been asked that question but in today’s world, I wasn’t surprised to hear this question. For anyone who is wondering why happiness is so important, I wanted to give you the benefits of happiness and some quick ways to cultivate your happiness.

The benefits of happiness
1. Happiness strengthens our immune system. People who felt a daily dose of positive emotions (hope, inspiration, pride, awe, love, etc.) were healthier and lived longer.
*Remember stress lowers our immune system which leads to benefit # 2

2. Happiness combats stress. Happier people report lower levels of stress. That’s a good enough reason to be happier.
3. Moods and emotions are contagious. We can spread our happiness. Think of it as a parent, Happy Parent=Happy Kids. What moods/emotions are you bringing home with you?
4. It increases your productivity -happiness increases your mental capacity and gives you the energy and drive to complete your work. When you’re not happy, you have problems focusing and concentrating which lowers your productivity.
5. We live longer – In a famous study of happiness and longevity, the life expectancy of nuns was studied The nuns who felt positive emotions, happy and positive lived longer. In the end, the happiest nuns lived 7-10 years longer.
Cultivating Happiness
1. Gratitude – write or say 2-3 things that your grateful for that happen today
2. Altruism – do random acts of kindness
3. Listen to music – listening to a happy song can shift our mood.
4. Socialization – enjoy time with your friends/family.
5. Have good relationships – spend time to nurture your relationships.

 

For more information please visit Diane’s website: http://www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com

Posted in Abundance, beliefs, Change, coaching, Conscious living, counseling, cultivate happiness, development, dream life, Goals, Gratitude, growth, happiness, Intention, Joy, life coaching, love, Mindfulness, parenting, pay it forward, personal development, positive parenting, positive psychology, Positive Psychology coaching, priorities, pro-active, psychology, self help, self-care, spirituality, therapy, Thoughts, transitions, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Help Wanted: Mom

For all the moms out there. A reminder of your importance and value. If there was a job posting for a mom here is what it would look like.
Just a reminder: a stay at home mom would earn $134,121 annually if she was to earn a paycheck. I’m sure each mom can add more to this description but its a good start.

Help Wanted: Mom

Must have a beautiful smile, warm eyes and a big heart. Highly motivated and energetic individual with the ability to multi-task, negotiate and manage time. Must be organized, delegate responsibility and manage a budget for at least 4 or 5 people. Patience is a must. Must work well under pressure. Must be responsible, caring, empathetic, disciplined and have good managerial skills. Listening skills a must. Must have reliable car. Position requires long hours, overtime and weekends. No sick or vacation time. Pay is low, appreciation is rare but you will learn a lot from this position.

Happy Mothers day!

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The Gray Area

The Grey Area
By: Diane Lang

For awhile now, I feel like a part of me is dying.
It’s been quite confusing.
I have had feelings I don’t normally have.
I feel like I’m being torn in two different directions.
However, I don’t feel overwhelmed. Instead, I feel a strange kind of peace.
I feel like I’m walking a line between my old self and the person I’m becoming
It’s the grey area of a transition that is the hardest and the part we don’t talk about.
When leaving parts of your old self behind, you grieve
Grieving can cause so many emotions such as denial, shock, anger, sadness, confusion and even depression.
It’s normal to feel these feelings actually it’s important you spend time feeling it.
Keep feeling till you get to the other side.
The other side where anger gets replaced with peace
Where confusion gets replaced with focus and goal planning.
Where fear gets replaced with action.
Where sadness gets replaced with hope.
When we get to the other side and the sun starts to shine, you will feel like a part of you has died. but that’s ok.
That’s the part of you that no longer serves you.
It’s the old beliefs that don’t work anymore.
It’s the old part of you that you needed to help you grow and expand.
Welcome the next chapter with all of its possibilities and opportunities.
Embrace the new identity with love and kindness .
It’s time to begin again.

For more information please visit Dlcounseling.com or email Diane at DLcounseling2014@gmail.com

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