Turning Setbacks Into Triumphs
By: Diane Lang
1. Look at both the bad and good side of every situation. Some situations are so bad, we can’t see the good till years later, but we can always look at bad situations as learnable/teachable moments. What did you learn from the situation? What changes can you make? How did it make you grow? How did it make you a better person?
2. Also look at the big picture. It might be bad now but what will the big picture bring you. My illness was horrible, but it caused me to make so many changes. These were changes that I had to make but as much as they were hard to do, I knew they would make my life better in the long run, if I just looked at the big picture. Another way to view the big picture, is look at the rest of your life. Don’t stay stuck on the one area that isn’t going well. Look at the rest of your life. Maybe, you’re in the middle of a break up and that is keeping you down and feeling like a failure. Spend time looking at the rest of your life. Is your health good? Kids healthy? Good job? Good friendships? Family, etc.? Life is more than just one failure.
3. View your setback as an opportunity for growth and change. Cultivate a growth mindset where you realize there is value in failure. Failure is an opportunity for growth, to learn, to rise to a challenge and grow your resiliency muscles. Don’t let failures define you, instead use it as a positive motivator to spur you into taking action.
4. Visualize a better future. Instead of staying in your current circumstances and dwelling over the negative start dreaming and visualizing a better future. Visualize how things could turn around. Look at your life as if you turned the situation into a positive. Visualize the change you want to see
5. Use your failure or bad situation to connect with others. We all love the underdog story. We also like to feel we are not alone. We connect to others who have been through rock bottom. Use it to teach others, connect and empathize. Some make it a career or use it in volunteer positions.
6. Take advice, accept help and don’t make any other changes while in a traumatic or life changing moment.
7. Accept where you are. True acceptance allows you to release the resistance/stress that comes from trying to control or change something you can’t. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or giving in, it means accepting where you are at this moment, so you can release the stress, breathe and see life with clarity. We don’t want to react with desperation, fear or impulsivity.
8. Change is the only constant. So right now, Life is tough but remember it is only temporary.
9. Don’t get stuck in the problem or the failure. Instead problem solve, look to set goals and take actions to move forward. Feel the emotion that comes from the setback but don’t stay there, figure out ways to move forward. Action always helps us to feel hope. Don’t get stuck in a vicious cycle of doing the same thing that never worked to begin with.
10. There is power in rock bottom – rock bottom is the place where we can grow and take action. Rock bottom teaches us empathy. Don’t fear rock bottom, it might be just what you need to get up and start over again. It takes away our fear and allows us to take risks. It forces us out of our comfort zone.
1. Always praise yourself or others for the effort they are making. This allows you and others to see the role you play in all your successes. We all have control of how much effort we put into something.
2. Be intentional about the people you spend your time with. Create a positive environment with people who have a positive mindset. Moods and emotions are contagious surround yourself with the emotions you want to catch.
3. Be flexible in your thinking – see problems as opportunities. Even if the opportunity is growth and learning, you will still get value out of your problems/failures.
4. Be self-aware of your own thinking. How do you talk to yourself? How do you treat yourself? Are you constantly self-criticizing? You must change your own mindset from negative to positive.
5. Positive affirmations – remind yourself daily of who you are and where you want to be. I remind myself daily that” I’m abundant”.
6. Face your fears – change is the only constant which I have said before but is so important to repeat. You will always deal with change and transitions. Face them, feel your emotions and take action to move forward by challenging yourself daily with small risks. If you know what scares you currently then take small baby steps to expose yourself to the fear slowly and in small doses
7. Feel your fears with self-compassion – be conscious of what your feeling/fearing but without judgement. Remember, you’re not alone, many others have the same fears as you do. Show yourself some empathy and kindness. Compliment yourself for your effort of facing your fears by being self-aware of what they are and making a commitment to face them.
8. Can/Can’t control – certain goals are no longer attainable. Accepting things, you can’t change, leaves room for you to work on the things you can change.
9. Remind yourself of past situations/trauma’s you have made it through. Remind yourself how you did it? Did you make changes? Did you accept your situation? Did you problem solve? Set goals with actionable steps? Did you write it out? Etc.
10. Set realistic goals – if we set unattainable goals, we set ourselves up for failure.
11. Re-train your brain to positive by asking yourself every evening – what are 2-3 things I did well today? Really dive in and write down what you did well and how you did it? You can even write down, how you felt after each good thing.
12. Turn a negative situation into a sense of purpose. Ask yourself: What is useful from this situation that I can use to transform my life or others? What are my choices after this situation that can lead me into positive change? Why is this situation important to my transition? How will I use my knowledge gained from my problem/failure to better my life or not make the same mistake again? Even though the situation might be negative, what positive aspects can I identify? How will this mistake/failure allow me to help others?
Take Summer classes from the comfort of your own home.
If your interested in taking any of my classes this summer but cant make it to a class, This is your opportunity to learn from home. All you need to do is pick the class and contact me at DLCounseling2014@gmail.com and we can set up a time/date to have your own personalized class from home.
Turning Setbacks into Advantages
Mind, Body & Soul – Finding balance in your life
Mindfully Happy- Waking up to life
Living a Mindful Life
Emotional Detox – Dealing with toxic people
Positive Psychology – Finding your happiness
Letting go of anger & finding forgiveness
Stress Less, Savor More- ways to manage stress
Declutter your life & reduce stress
Take one class or take a few, all classes will be from the comfort of your own home on a date/time that works for you. Take a class from the beach, all you need is a computer and/or phone!
Email me for more information: DLCounseling2014@gmail.com
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Thank you for sharing. It is an important subject!