Most of us fear change. Change is a very intimidating word. When we think of change, we feel the panic going through our bodies.
Fear can stop us in our tracks and cause us to feel frozen and numb. If we continue to feel this way, we will eventually become stale and even depressed.
There is nothing wrong with having some fear in our lives. Fear can be a motivator. It can help us in threatening cases. Fear can shed some light on difficult situations. Fear becomes dangerous when we hold onto it and let it rule our life.
Fear is caused by excessive worrying about the future. Something we have no control over. It is unrealistic to think we can control our future or even know what will happen next but yet we try which sets us up for failure.
To release fear, we need to live in the moment. Your past is already gone. Use your past as a teachable moment. Take your lessons from the past and ask yourself, what did I learn? What could I do different in this type of situation if it arises again? How can I prevent this type of situations to happen again? Then let it go and move forward. Don’t fear the past coming back to haunt you because you learned from it and released it.
Don’t fear the future. We have no control over our future except for planning for it. So, plan away. Set up a 401 for your retirement. Set up a 529 for your kids college futures. Set up savings for a rainy day, etc. Then let it go. Let go of what you cant control. If you have no control over something, then holding onto it just causes stress, anger and fear.
If we live in the past or future we are setting ourselves up for failure but when we live in the moment, we know everything is fine because it is. In the moment all is well.
Fear can be a learned trait if we watched our parents live a fearful life we can follow suit. I had a client who was very fearful of money. Why? Because her parents grew up in the great depression and lived in fear of having no money. They passed that fear down to their kids. At the time it was probably a realistic fear… but today is it? Always ask yourself these questions when feeling fearful:
Is my fear realistic?
Is my fear based on the past or a learned trait?
Is my fear based on excessive worry of the future?
Then ask yourself- what can I do now to change my thought process?
When we take action we release our fear. It brings back our power. Even small baby steps will start the process of releasing fear. Every time we accomplish a goal we get a feeling of positive reinforcement that motivates us to move forward and continue on our journey.
Visualize your life without fear being in charge. What would it look like? How would you feel? What would you do differently? These questions are “wake up” questions for me. Every time I ask myself what would like look like without fear that controls me, I get an “aha moment” because I realize I don’t have to live with fear being in the drivers seat. It’s my choice to carry the fear with me. Happiness is a choice as much as fear. Which do you choose?
When visualizing your life without fear add details, have fun with it. Make a collage, draw your life, etc. Whatever works best for you but visualize. If you can’t see it, you can’t accomplish it.
June 2019 – Events and Workshops – Open to the Public
Tuesday, June 11 & 18, 6pm – Positive Aging
Warren Community College, NJ
Phone: 908 -835-2333
Wednesday, June 19, 10:30am – Mind, Body & Spirit – Finding Your Balance
￼Montclair Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-744-0500 Ext 2224
Saturday, June 29, 12pm – The Happiness Workshop
Long Hill Township Library, NJ
About Diane Lang…
Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.
Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.
As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.